Non avevo mai capito quanto un bikini potesse nascondere

Sapete cos’è la cosa che mi fa ridere del vestirsi in modo modesto? La cosa più difficile è iniziare, ma una volta che cominci diventa impossibile smettere. Il mio viaggio con la modestia si è svolto a tappe, incoraggiato da domande che continuavo a pormi. Queste domande venivano da una continua battaglia interiore: volevo da una parte essere integrata e Read more…

Como você sabe se um cara te ama ou quer usá-la?

O passo númeroum para eliminar os caras maus é praticar os princípios de namoro, aqui. A parte principal do namoro é que você só se compromete com um cara, se você teve uma longa amizade com ele, sua família gosta dele, e você pode ver a si mesma se casando com ele. Entretanto, se você quiser saber se um cara Read more…

Wedding Nights and Wedding Rings

  Anyone who has walked the road can tell you…saving sex for marriage is a challenging journey. You can listen intently to people who say it is worthwhile and read all about it and see some concrete fruits of it in your dating relationships, and believe wholeheartedly that it will all have been worth the wait if you enter into Read more…

Eu sei que preciso terminar com o meu namorado porque o relacionamento me levou para longe de Deus e minha família. Mas como eu faço isso? Eu não quero machucá-lo.

Não há nenhuma maneira de romper com um cara que vai deixá-lo sentindo-se alegre e contente. Vai doer. Mas tem que ser feito. Se uma menina nunca aprende a cuidar de si mesma e dizer “não”, ela nunca vai encontrar o amor. Para romper com ele, talvez você possa tirar um tempo para escrever uma longa carta. Dessa forma, você Read more…

O passado de minha namorada me assusta!

Eu sou virgem e estou namorando uma mulher que tinha um passado ruim, mas agora é decidiu viver a pureza. Porém a ideia de seu passado me assombra. Como posso viver melhor isso? Eu sei como você se sente, porque eu era virgem no dia do meu casamento, mas minha esposa não era. Como a mulher que você mencionou, minha Read more…

What to do when chastity gets frustrating

I stepped out of the van and into the cool evening air. As my friend drove off to finish an errand before rejoining me, I glanced across the parking lot at the lit-up building. I am so not going into the dance right when it starts, I decided. After all, in my teenage mind, the “cool people” always showed up Read more…

Fasting for Love

We had only been dating for a month when the semester ended and the bleak reality struck: my boyfriend and I were going to part ways for the long months of summer. During our conversations as the break stretched before us, we discussed fasting for each other and our relationship. Each week, on a specific day, we would each offer Read more…

5 Things People Don’t Understand About Chastity

Chastity, as far as I can tell, is one of the most misunderstood words in the English language. People think it’s repressive, degrading and unnatural. But nothing could be further from the truth! Instead, chastity says that sex, our bodies, and our desires are so good that they are sacred, thus they deserve to be respected and revered. Chastity isn’t Read more…

It’s Never Too Late

In high school, I had a friend in my youth group who had a tendency to live a pretty reckless life. She liked going out and partying. She liked spending time with boys, hooking up and never seeing them again. She would go out and party on Saturday night but come to youth group and church on Sunday. She always Read more…

Sou virgem e estou namorando uma mulher com um mau passado, mas que hoje busca a pureza. Pensar sobre seu passado me atormenta. Como posso superar isso?

Sei como você se sente, porque eu era virgem no dia em que me casei, mas minha esposa não. Assim como a mulher que você mencionou, minha esposa se tornou uma nova criatura. Mas ainda era um desafio doloroso lidar com o seu passado. Primeiro, sentia um embrulho no estômago quando pensava nela sendo íntima com alguém que eu nunca Read more…

5 Modesty Hacks To Save Your Wardrobe

When it comes to purity, often the hardest topic to sell to young women is that of modesty. As a teenager I had a close and personal relationship with my closet. Part of me would rather sacrifice my right arm than some of my favorite outfits. However, sanctity comes with sacrifice, and your sacrifice will not go unrewarded. Each time Read more…

Castidad… ¿El ‘remedio mágico’ para encontrar a tu alma gemela?

Quisiera contarles mi experiencia acerca de la castidad, sé que quizás no va a ser ni la más edificante ni la más esperanzadora, pero la comparto porque pienso que las adolescentes que leen su blog tienen que saber que la castidad no es un ‘remedio mágico’ que les ayudará a encontrar al amor de su vida o un ‘parche mágico’ que Read more…

What a First Kiss Tells You

I recently read an article what a first kiss tells you, and it didn’t sit right. The author called a first kiss a litmus test. She wrote that it’s how you confirm that a guy is into you—that it’s how you determine whether he’s confident. And maybe, for her, that’s what a first kiss is. And maybe it is for Read more…

You are innocent, but you are not naïve.

To all my single ladies and single gentlemen out there who haven’t done much dating (or no dating at all), there are 3 terms that I want you to familiarize yourself with, and be able to distinguish between. Innocent: “the state of being free from sin; a lack of guile or corruption; purity” Purity: “the condition of being free from Read more…

Child of Mercy

As she sat across from us, her pain was almost palpable. A family friend sat with my then-fiancé and I as she lamented about her oldest son’s behavior problems. He struggled with nutrition, attention deficit and general disobedience. As she went on, she eventually divulged the real, haunting, deep truth behind her struggle. The root of her pain wasn’t her Read more…

Acalma-te: a vitória do matrimônio vem através da sua crucifixão

Veja quem Cristo está levantando dos mortos neste ícone clássico do Domingo de Páscoa: é o primeiro casal casado. O Matrimônio têm sido atacado desde o começo. Não é nada novo. E Cristo sempre o eleva. À luz da decisão da Suprema Corte na última semana, que legalizou efetivamente o “casamento” homoafetivo a nível nacional (nos EUA), pode parecer que Read more…

Quatro segredos para a cura sexual

Sempre digo que é possível recomeçar, independentemente do passado. Mas o que isso significa? Uma coisa é decidir recomeçar, outra coisa é saber lidar com as consequências do passado. Não é só escutar uma fascinante pregação sobre castidade e assinar um novo cartão de comprometimento de pureza, e então tudo está restaurado. O que normalmente passa despercebido é o longo Read more…

The Problem with Pick-Up Lines

Recently, as I was boarding my return flight to Denver, I was dreading the fact that I couldn’t avoid the uncomfortable experience of getting stuck with the middle seat on the flight. I comforted myself with the knowledge that it was a non-stop flight and that I was exhausted enough that I might be able to fall asleep, even while Read more…

When Chastity Gets Frustrating

I stepped out of the van and into the cool evening air. As my friend drove off to finish an errand before rejoining me, I glanced across the parking lot at the lit-up building. I am so not going into the dance right when it starts, I decided. After all, in my teenage mind, the “cool people” always showed up Read more…

I was 4 when I first asked my dad about sex.

I was 4 years old when I first asked my dad about sex. My dad looked back at me in horror, so I asked, “Isn’t it when two people get naked and French kiss?” Totally innocent question, right? Well, maybe not totally innocent. I had peeked through enough fingers when my parents would cover my eyes during certain movie scenes. Read more…

¿Cómo Usar la Biblia Para Rezar Por Tu Futuro/a (o Actual) Marido/Esposa?

Rezar por mi futuro marido fue una de las claves de mi decisión para permanecer pura en la adolescencia. Básicamente, años más tarde descubrimos que mi decisión de dedicar estas oraciones coincidía con la fecha de la espontánea conversión de mi prometido. Hace pocos años, durante una conferencia, una mujer preguntó cómo rezo ahora por mi marido. Es increíble cómo Read more…

Onde, quando e como posso encontrar a garota certa para mim?

É assim que muitos solteiros vêem o mundo dos relacionamentos: “Deus criou a terra, que tem 515 milhões de kilômetros quadrados, só para registro. Então, Deus criou minha alma gêmea e colocou ela lá fora em algum lugar. Meu trabalho é encontrá-la, e o trabalho de Deus parece ser a de escondê-la de mim por tanto tempo quanto fisicamente possível. Read more…

Should you date while discerning?

No, probably not. It’s one of the toughest struggles, especially for a young person seeking to do the will of God in their lives, to adequately discern a religious vocation while desiring to date.  I tried to walk that line in college and failed more than a few times, hurting several friends in the process. But how can I know Read more…

What if I’ve Met The Right Person At The Wrong Time?

He’s in a disaster of a relationship with a real wretch. She recently went through a rough breakup and isn’t ready to start something new. They work together for a “no fishing from the corporate pond” company. These are the plot lines that Hollywood rom-coms are made of. And if you’re Catholic, we can throw in a few more…. In Read more…

The Theology of . . . Dance?

Nowadays, when people think of dancing, they might assume that the practice is irreconcilable with the virtue of chastity. While this is obviously true of some forms of dancing, I sometimes see articles on the usefulness of partner dances such as swing or waltz for developing chastity. When I read these articles I am usually disappointed, not because dancing is bad, but Read more…

It’s Not Love’s Job to Make You Happy

He makes me happy. She makes me a better person. I can’t imagine life without them. What about the day that he stops making you happy? At some point he’s going to irritate you. She might make you feel like a terrible person down the road. Are you strong enough to be a better person on your own? You might Read more…

What Tim Tebow’s breakup can teach us

Tim Tebow got dumped. Again. This time, the girl is a former Miss USA who allegedly called it quits after a couple of months because she “can’t handle” Tebow’s sexual abstinence. So last week, a New York Daily News gossip blog mocked the famous football player for his inability to “find the endzone,” and wrote that it isn’t the first time that his decision Read more…

Non ho perso la mia verginità quando mi sono sposata

Non ho mai dato un pugno in faccia a qualcuno, ma onestamente ci sono momenti in cui vorrei poter ignorare la virtù della calma e dell’autocontrollo per dare un bel pugno in faccia a qualcuno. Alcuni mesi prima del mio matrimonio, una persona mi chiese (sapendo che ero una vergine ancora a 29 anni per libera celta), “Ma anche il Read more…

Consejos prácticos para vivir una vida pura

¿A quién le gustan los retos? Algunas personas realmente disfrutan de un gran desafío o que le digan que algo es imposible para así poder intentarlo de todas formas. Bien, aquí está mi reto para ti.  Quiero que vayas a inscribirte al próximo gran torneo de golf y ganarlo.  No aceptaré un segundo o un tercer lugar: tienes que ganar.  Read more…

Homosexuality and being a “real” man

Trends come and go. This we know is true. Whether it be “man hair-buns” (shudder), burly beards and smoking pipes, the metro-sexual, or guys wearing tights hundreds of years ago. The point? Though things change, what it means to be a man doesn’t. When we get caught up with caricatures of manhood without focusing on its essence, many people like me Read more…

The Dating Fast: Part 2

Around a year ago I wrote a post about what God had taught me during the year-long dating fast I’d felt convicted to take. What I hadn’t expected when I began that year was that it would lead almost seamlessly into a second year. In August last year I began the Sion Youth Foundation Year, an 11-month program which, much Read more…

Where are all the good men?

As somebody who has written a lot about dating, I have gotten a lot of feedback from single young adults—ladies and gentlemen who haven’t tied the knot and want to, who routinely ask an honest question. “Where are all the good men?” or, “Where are all the good women?” The question is probably rooted in each person’s not so satisfactory Read more…

Ayunando por amor

Habíamos estado saliendo por apenas un mes, cuando acabó el semestre y me golpeó la cruda realidad: mi novio y yo íbamos a tener que estar separados durante todo el verano. Durante una de nuestras conversaciones, hablamos sobre la idea de ayunar por nuestra relación. Cada semana, un día en específico podríamos ofrecer un sacrificio especial el uno por el Read more…

¿Deberías salir con alguien mientras disciernes?

No, probablemente no. Una de las pruebas más difíciles, sobre todo para un joven que está buscando la voluntad de Dios para su vida, es discernir adecuadamente una vocación religiosa a la vez que tiene ganas de salir con alguien. Intenté seguir esa línea en la universidad y fallé unas cuantas veces, haciendo daño a varios amigos en el proceso. Read more…

Sexual Violence: It Could Happen To Me

“Believe me. Listen. You will hear me. I am worthy.” I do not listen to Lady Gaga lyrics often, but lately, her voice has been echoing in my mind. Over and over, I have watched her music video, which powerfully depicts the devastation of campus rape. Over and over, I hear the agonizing cry, “Til it happens to you, you Read more…

¿Es tu futuro esposo tu ídolo?

Cuando entré por primera vez en el “mundo de las relaciones” tenía un listado de ideales que quería que tuviera mi futuro esposo. No estoy hablando de principios sino sobre una imagen idealista – como los de una película. Sin embargo me di cuenta de que ningún hombre me hacía “sentir” de una forma mágica todo el tiempo, y nunca Read more…

Nunca es demasiado tarde.

En el instituto, había una chica en mi grupo de fe que llevaba una vida bastante desordenada. Le gustaba salir de fiesta, pasar tiempo con chicos, liarse con ellos y no volverles a ver. Ella podía salir de fiesta los sábados por la noche, y luego venir al grupo de fe y a misa el domingo. Tenía una increíble capacidad Read more…

I Never Knew a Bikini Could Hide So Much

  Do you know what’s funny about dressing modestly? It is the hardest thing to start, yet then becomes impossible to stop. My journey with modesty has happened in stages, prompted by questions that I continued to ask myself. These questions came from an internal battle between wanting to fit in and be seen as attractive on the outside, and Read more…

Chastity vs. Duplicity

  I hate it when I fall into duplicity. When I say one thing and do another, I’m not acting like I want to be a trusted person, someone who is passionate about her beliefs. Several years ago, I would not pay much attention to what I put on social media. The internet was a fun, exciting tool that I Read more…

I Wish I Knew The Value Of A Kiss

Your first kiss: Whether it was absolutely magical or horribly awkward and embarrassing, it’s a moment that stays with you forever. I remember those late night sleepover talks with my girlfriends growing up, discussing and wondering what it would be like when it finally happened. What do you do with your head or your hands? How do you breathe with Read more…

Con velo… Por amor a los ángeles.

Hace unos cuantos años, el sacerdote que concelebró en mi boda (el padre Louis Solcia) me sugirió que hiciera algo que no he hecho desde el día en que me casé: llevar velo en la iglesia. Siempre he considerado el velo como una tradición pasada de moda, reservada a ancianas piadosas. Para ser sincera, lo primero que pensé fue: “De Read more…

5 cosas que la gente no entiende sobre de la castidad.

La castidad, por lo que puedo decir, es una de las palabras que más se tienden a malinterpretar en nuestro idioma. La gente suele asociar este término con algo que es represivo, degradante y antinatural. ¡Pero nada más lejos de la realidad! La castidad nos dice que el sexo, nuestros cuerpos y nuestros deseos son tan buenos, que son sagrados, Read more…

Esperanza después del arcoíris

Soy un hombre católico y atracciones del mismo sexo son parte de mi historia. Sin embargo, recientemente la posibilidad de un llamado al matrimonio ha sido escrito en mi corazón – matrimonio con una mujer. ¿Qué? Déjame explicar… No es para terapia Esto no tiene nada que ver con terapia con la intención de cambiar de “gay” a “hetero”. Nunca Read more…

G, L, B, T… ¿Cuál es tu identidad?

Aunque es cierto que las atracciones hacia el mismo sexo son parte de la historia de mi vida, hoy comparto de mí mismo para defender la Iglesia Católica. Si, has leído correctamente, defenderla. Oro para que abras tu corazón y puedas escuchar mi voz. ¿Quién dices que soy?  Muchas personas (aún personas católicas) han tratado de imponer una identidad “gay” sobre Read more…

La Homosexualidad: ¿Estoy destinado a estar solo?

Muchas personas piensan que solo tengo dos opciones en esta vida porque siento atracciones hacia el mismo sexo. Estas dos opciones suelen ser: tener una relación con otro hombre para sentirme “realizado”, o estar soltero y solo (y por consecuencia miserable). Se olvidan que hay más opciones en esta vida. Aunque no tengo una relación romántica, no me siento solo. Read more…

Want love? Speak up.

“1, 2, 3…Silent Game! First to talk loses!” I bet most of us are familiar with this common childhood game. We would sit around on playgrounds or in class, trying to hold back giggling, and wait to see who would give in first. Unfortunately, the affect that silence can have within our relationships is far from the innocence of this Read more…

The Vocation Fixation: What Does God Want?

I once heard a religious sister’s vocation story where she described her discernment process as the feeling that God was holding her vocation hostage… and it was her job to negotiate its release! She eventually discovered the truth that Fr. Mike Schmitz puts so well when he says, “God won’t ask you to answer a question that He hasn’t asked Read more…

The Secret to True Love… from a Mattress??

“The marriage bed is an altar.” (Jason Evert) The patterned comforter, comfy throw pillows, and springy mattress may not look like much, but neither does a large stone table. These ordinary places are transformed through the extraordinary mysteries that take place on them. Sitting in a pew, looking up at the altar, I began to realize the depth of this Read more…

Planned Parenthood – The Enemy of Chastity

If you have been following the news this past summer, Planned Parenthood Federation of America has found themselves in a very big scandal. They are facing congressional hearings and the prospect of losing their $528.4 million annual government funding due to the accusations that they are violating federal law by selling aborted baby’s body parts for profit. The tenth undercover Read more…

Single . . . and satisfied?

I’ll be totally honest; I’m a 20 year old who has never had a serious relationship. When I was younger, part of me was ashamed of that. I went to a huge public school where being in a relationship defined a person’s social standing. I wanted a serious relationship so I went on a few dates here and there, but Read more…

What is love?

There is so much information out there about love and relationships. It’s as if everyone is so afraid of commitment because of the high divorce rate that we have psychoanalyzed love to “make sure” it will work. Articles range from topics such as “How do you know if he/she is the one,” “quick fixes for your relationship,” and “signs you Read more…

The Day We’ll Share a Home

“97% of couples live together before getting married.” (- The Knot) I am part of the 3%. I do not know who The Knot surveyed to get this data, or how big their test pool was, but this is the information they have printed in their big bridal magazine for this season. According to The Knot’s poll, 3% of people Read more…

Healing the Thorns of the Past

“God shows no partiality (Acts 10:34). He does not take account of nobility of birth, length of time in his service, or the number of our good works. What counts with God is a devout soul’s increased fervor and more ardent love. He does not consider how you once behaved, but what you have now begun to be.” – St. Read more…

You Are Enough.

You are enough. We all too often forget how powerful these three little words can be in our daily lives. How often do you hear these words throughout your day? Almost never. Instead, we find ourselves glancing in dismay at the bathroom mirror, our vision clouded by what we want to see rather than the beauty of God’s creation before Read more…

How to use the Bible to Pray For Your Future (or Current) Spouse

Praying for my future spouse was one of the keys to my decision to stay pure as a teen. Ultimately, years later we discovered that my decision to dedicate myself to these prayers coincided with the date of the spontaneous conversion of my Husband-To-Be. A few years ago during a speaking engagement, a woman asked how I pray for my Read more…

Affection: Where do you draw the line?

How do we go about setting physical standards for dating? Is it based on long you’ve known the guy? How much he’s done for you? How much you’ve told him about yourself? Drawing lines like this can be like trying to draw lines in the sand—one wave comes and they’re gone. When we try to define our own standards for Read more…

How to Be a Virtuous Date

Virtue is one of those words that sounds a bit lame and unromantic.  Dating tends to make us think of words like: passion, excitement, love and connection … Date with virtue (wha-wha-wha). Buzz kill. Growing up my dad always told me love was a decision, which always sounded too mechanical and cold to be true. But as I grew in Read more…

My Marriage is Not a Fairy Tale

(Also titled, “How you can marry the man of your dreams and still want to punch him in the face sometimes”) A few years ago, as a single woman, I sat across from a young engaged couple at a Theology of the Body retreat during lunchtime. Curious about their “love story,” I listened for 45 minutes on how God wove Read more…

Fight On, My Brother

My Dear Brother in Christ, We see you. We see the fight you are engaged in. We want you to know that you do not fight in vain, nor without gratitude. In the times of knights and castles—in stories such as Braveheart—men went into battle for the protection of women and children, as well as their beliefs. Now, you are Read more…

10 Tips to Stay Chaste

Let’s face it, practicing chastity is tough. When the ache for affection and intimacy comes, it can draw us into places we never imagined: mentally, emotionally, and physically. Here are 10 steps to help you remain chaste: Don’t Settle I have to be honest; I have dated some not-so-good guys in my day. In doing so I came out hurt and jaded. Who Read more…

Hey Future Husband, I’m A Sinner. How Are You?

“Look at all these sinners.” My friend sent me that text earlier today as I stood in line for confession, attached was a picture he took of me standing in the line across from him waiting to enter the confessional. I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the text. It’s true, I am a terrible sinner—we all are. Plot Read more…

El genio femenino

¿Qué significa ser mujer? Es una pregunta que ha invadido mi mente desde que era niña. Recuerdo que me decían todas las cosas que te hacen ser una mujer: desde los cambios en tu cuerpo y en la ropa que usas, hasta los cambios en tus modales. Ser mujer siempre fue considerado la “gran cosa”. Sin embargo, a medida que Read more…

When should you say “I love you”?

“I love you”: those three words which we inevitably swoon over in soppy movies, yet which in reality cause some people to cry with joy whilst others weep with longing, and makes some grow in confidence and security but others choke in fear and want to hide. There seem to be so many factors and emotions caught up in these Read more…

Is This Too Short?

Is this too short? I’ve been asking myself this question since I tried on my new dress in the store. It’s really cute, figure flattering, a new style, and exactly what I’ve been looking for. It seemed like a good enough length since it’s longer than most dresses. It could use a few more inches of fabric but it’s close Read more…

When attraction is irrelevant (and other dating truths)

Recently, I received a call from my good friend Americo, who I’ve known since I was 11. First he was my brother’s youth minister. Then mine. And by the way he is brilliant. That day, I had emailed Americo a dating question: How do we know that our standards are solid and not a sign that were hesitant to make the act of faith that marriage requires? It’s the “how far Read more…

Love Unfiltered

It’s been a few weeks since the Supreme Court issued its vote that made same-sex “marriage” legal in all fifty states. Since that decision, social media has been taken over by a rainbow filter, especially on Facebook as millions of people have adjusted their profile picture to be shown under an assembly of horizontally-striped colors in support of the Supreme Court’s decision. Read more…

Remain Calm: The Victory of Marriage Comes Through Its Crucifixion

Notice whom Christ is raising from the dead here in this classic icon of Easter Sunday: it’s the first married couple. Marriage has been under attack since the beginning. It’s nothing new. And Christ always raises it up. In light of last week’s Supreme Court decision, which effectively legalized same-sex “marriage” nationwide, it may seem like marriage is facing unweatherable storms, Read more…

How to save marriage

Recently, during a radio interview, the Son Rise Morning Show’s host Matt Swaim asked me if the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage would cause a marriage crisis. And I said no. Because it won’t. But last Friday, a lot of Christians responded like it would—“as if everything was perfect last Thursday,” one of my readers wrote on his Read more…

Gender and Judgment

This past month has seen some pretty incredible headlines. The coverage has been consumed with the story of Bruce Jenner announcing himself as Caitlyn Jenner. That story was accompanied by a resounding celebration of Jenner’s decision. The coverage was so overwhelmingly positive it was hard not to get swept up in all the cheer. Then something strange happened… A woman Read more…

Finding Him Whom My Soul Loves

I’m in love. There, I said it. I’m in love with a man who makes my heart do backflips when he speaks to me, who brings me joy just from knowing he’s near, who makes everything else disappear when I look into his eyes. He is strong and gentle and courageous and humble and bold and selfless all at once. Read more…

What has the Church said about “Gender Theory”?

Although Pope Francis’ comments on climate change have dominated the headlines in recent days, many are unaware that his new encyclical, Laudato Si’, also addressed another controversial topic: Gender Theory. Here’s what he wrote: “Human ecology also implies another profound reality: the relationship between human life and the moral law, which is inscribed in our nature and is necessary for Read more…

4 Myths: Women and the “M word”

Last week a college freshman came up to me after a chastity workshop to “talk.” I could tell she was nervous. She waited until the room cleared and pulled me aside to chat. She started: “Mary, I need to talk to you about … she looked down mumbled …“you know, what you talked about in your talk.” There was a Read more…

He’s Just Not That Into You(r Faith)

I was 12 years old the first time a guy used the excuse of being “sick” to avoid going to Mass with me. Sadly, that was not an isolated event and I quickly learned that while I may enjoy my faith, the guys I found myself involved with didn’t seem to feel the same way. So, for a time, I Read more…

I Wished I Had Been Born a Boy

I am a 52 year-old woman and mother of four. A wife for almost twenty-six years but I wished I had been born a boy. Probably until I was well into junior high and maybe even high school I was fairly convinced God had simply mixed me up with John Mark, the name my parents had selected if I had Read more…

Is this first date the beginning of forever?

My friends and I used to treat first dates like a final exam. If you pass, you get married. If you fail, or make a bad joke, you must wipe all your dreams off the board and start over. Dating is supposed to be fun but I easily forget to trust the process. Falling in love and marrying your best Read more…

Waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right

Most people go through a time of waiting before they find the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. For many, this can be a time of uncertainty and even loneliness. Other than maintaining great personal hygiene (because that’s always important), here’s what you can do to prepare for your future marriage: The time we spend anticipating the arrival Read more…

The Best Dating Advice I Ever Received

It never ceases to amaze me how many people I know who end up in bad dating relationships. Not only are the relationships unhealthy for them, but for whatever reason, they are attached to the relationship and don’t want it to end. I received an email from a young woman asking for advice in her current dating situation. She shared Read more…

A Bachelor’s Life Interrupted

Ten months ago, this gorgeous Italian girl and I became nuptial newbies. We took the leap, tied the knot, and said the vows that Jesus says last a lifetime. The decision I made on August 2, 2014 has become the turning point commitment of my existence; a day that changed my life’s entire trajectory. Before my beautiful bride came around, Read more…

Why Porn Can’t Replace Intimacy

Today I was reading an article on a tech blog that was applauding a porn company for its innovative use of technology. In it, the company owners bragged about how close their porn is to the real thing. If resemblance to the real thing is the main selling point of a product, why wouldn’t a consumer look at it and Read more…

Is this first date the beginning of forever?

My friends and I used to treat first dates like a final exam. If you pass, you get married. If you fail, or make a bad joke, you must wipe all your dreams off the board and start over. Dating is supposed to be fun but I easily forget to trust the process. Falling in love and marrying your best Read more…

What’s the point of a dating fast if we’re made for love?

What images are conjured up by the words “dating fast?” Wait, is that someone not dating by choice? Yes, it’s that and so much more! It can include saying no to casual dating, flirting, making out, and the like; no spending an afternoon daydreaming about your crush or thinking about your wedding; and not encouraging any thoughts of lacking worth Read more…

Chivalry is making a comeback!

The other day I stumbled across an article which essentially proclaimed “CHIVALRY IS DEAD: Here’s why.” Like a bright red flashing warning sign smack bang in front of my face, I saw the temptation to give in to that kind of defeatist thinking. And I get it, I really do! Pretending we don’t need strong men often hurts less than Read more…

Eres Irrepetible . . . También Lo Es Tu Historia De Amor

Una completa extraña me preguntó dónde me pusieron mis extensiones de cabello. Me halagó, –o algo así– pero en realidad mis “extensiones” crecen directamente desde mi cuero cabelludo. Algunas veces los oficiales de seguridad aeroportuaria me palpan la cabeza porque sospechan que pueda estar ocultando algo en mi cabello, así que no me sorprendió mucho la pregunta. Le conté sobre Read more…

Why I’m Not Afraid of an Awkward Wedding Night

I am 29 years old, and I have never had sex. Not even close. My decision to practice chastity implies that I never will, unless or until I am married. Which means if I do get married, I won’t have any sexual “experience.” So a young adult who reads my blog once asked me the following question: “Why would you want to Read more…

Single, but not unloved!

I have been in romantic relationships in my life, but I have been sporting single life for a while now. Recently, my friend told me about this awesome Catholic guy she was swooning over. Get this… they met on Valentine’s day!?! (Really, I thought that only happened in movies?) I was happy for her, but sometimes when I hear about Read more…

Why I’m Not Ashamed of My Same-Sex Attractions

One of the most frequent objections I hear in regards to my same-sex attractions coupled with my desire to live a chaste life in obedience to God is, “Why are you so ashamed of who you’re attracted to?” My initial response to this objection, I won’t lie, is often laughter. Me? Ashamed? I have a lot to be ashamed of Read more…

Chastity: It isn’t about the rules

We had just gotten engaged two days before and were at daily Mass together. I told Daniël we should ask the priest for a blessing, because he was the first priest we had come in contact with since we got engaged. So after Mass we saw the priest, introduced ourselves, and asked him if he would give us this blessing. Read more…

You Are Unrepeatable… And So Is Your Love Story

A total stranger asked me where I got my weave. Flattered, sort of, but my “weave” actually grows directly from my scalp. I mean, sometimes airport security people pat down my head because they’re suspicious I’m hiding something in my hair, so I wasn’t that shocked by her question. I told her my [lazy] regimen after she asked for it Read more…

If the Devil Can’t Get You To Settle, He Has a Plan B

Jackie Francois-Angel’s wildly popular article, “The Devil Wants You to Settle in Your Relationship,” sets forth several gut-check questions to help you determine if your relationship is “heaven-sent.” Jackie’s observations are spot on for pure Catholic singles, as well as for those who find significant others who hinder their purity. I strongly believe that the devil’s Plan A is to Read more…

What to look for in a future spouse

“What should I look for in a future spouse?” No one will miraculously change once you are married, so it’s important to see if your significant other has qualities worthy of marriage while dating. However, an even better question is: “What kind of person should I be for my future spouse?” The following list will offer a few helpful points to consider: Self-sacrificial love. This is Read more…

Male and Female He Created Them

Nowadays, it seems as if there’s more confusion than ever as to what it means to be made male and female. Our creation as such, and the call of the two to become “one flesh” is not merely a metaphor for Christ’s relationship to us. As St. John Paul II affirmed, it’s the foundational way in which that eternal mystery Read more…

Why you don’t need to be a virgin to practice chastity

In a comment beneath a chastity post I once wrote, a reader left a disconcerting note: “I’m not a virgin, so I guess I can’t practice chastity.” The comment hurt my heart. The person who wrote it had dismissed chastity as irrelevant as a result of sexual experience—a sign of a misconception of chastity that says it isn’t designed for Read more…

Breaking the Addiction to Sin

Everywhere I go, I come in contact with men (and sometimes women) who have fallen into some addictive sexual sin. Most people are looking for an easy way to get rid of their “problem.” My response to them is not what they were looking for, but it does offer hope in a way that only God can offer. You see, Read more…

Keeping Prom Pure

I sat in front of the woman, my heart dropping with her words. She recounted to me the distrust and immorality that she experienced in her group of “friends.” As this woman told me about the wild party her group threw on prom night just a few months earlier, I could hear the regret in her voice. I wished that Read more…

Mi Respuesta a Invitaciones a Reuniones Gay

Si alguna vez has sido invitado a participar en un evento del orgullo gay o invitado a “gustar” una pagina del orgullo gay en Facebook, que has hecho? Debido a que me siento atraído por personas del mismo sexo, siempre me llegan invitaciones de ese tipo. Por ello he estado rezando para responder amorosamente, sin así llegar a comprometer mi Read more…

Revealing Intimacy

I once saw a protest in which a group of women were expressing their need to free themselves of the oppressive nature of clothing. I may have gotten that premise wrong and, in fact, I don’t really know what they were protesting, but something that one of the young ladies said really stood out to me. When one of them Read more…

Is your future spouse your idol?

When I first entered the “dating scene,” I had a list of ideals that my future husband would have. I’m not talking about standards, because those are good to have. I’m talking about an idealist image—nothing short of a movie. But, I came to realize that no man made me “feel” a magical way all the time, and I could Read more…

Love is Not Hate

A few months ago, I walked into a framing store with a large painting of Saint John Paul II, and laid it on the counter. The framer, a kind gentleman in his mid-forties, looked fondly on the image for a few moments, and remarked, “I’m a Catholic boy. Too bad the Church doesn’t want me.” Although it was unspoken, it Read more…

4 Ways to Avoid Falling in Love with a Fantasy

As a general rule, I don’t watch chick flicks. Partly because I know the aftermath they leave behind—the frustration at life being so much harder than it’s portrayed, the longing to be loved like the heroine, the pain of wondering if I can be, the temptation to throw up at the sight of fully grown girls melting into a mess Read more…

Marriage Prep Starts When You’re Single

Just before my wife and I got married, I read a great book by Archbishop Fulton Sheen about marriage. He claimed that one of the goals of marriage is that each spouse would gradually surrender their ego (sense of self-importance) as they strive to better love and serve each other. The idea sounded nice, but I figured that it wouldn’t really be Read more…