Whether you’re the one with the past or the one in love with someone with a past, discussing the sexual past is one of the hardest conversations to have (and keep having) during a discernment process. On the one side, it’s the fear of rejection, of not being good enough, of being ‘too broken’ or ‘damaged’ to deserve love. Read more…
I’ll never forget one particular high-school youth group that I attended, where the minister was preaching on why you shouldn’t have sex before marriage. To make his point, he took out a piece of gum and started chewing. After a few moments, he spat the chewed gum into one hand, held out the fresh piece in his other hand, and Read more…
Suppose you meet an amazing man. He’s devout, mature, your best friend, you’re crazy about each other—but he wasn’t always like this. Like many deceived young people, he wasn’t always pure. As with any guy, make sure his chaste lifestyle is the real thing. If he isn’t faithful to you with his heart, his mind, his body, or his eyes, Read more…
Hours before we were married, my wife and I went to Confession separately, wanting to enter into marriage as free as we could be. We confessed times when we gave away our love to individuals who didn’t deserve it and times when we ourselves failed to love as we should. I knew that through years of viewing pornography, I had Read more…
Have you ever felt rejected? I’m not talking about the kind of rejection you feel when you’re not invited somewhere, or if you ask someone out and they decline. I’m referring to a deeper and more persistent sense of rejection whereby you never feel desirable, good enough, or loveable. I’ve realized that this is a wound I have carried with Read more…
Breaking up is hard to do. Whether it was a mutual decision or a heart-wrencher, the Lord wants to be the object of your rebound. Here are five messages for prayer to allow the Lord to take an active role in your healing. Comfort– Psalm 34:18-20– The righteous cry out, the Lord hears and he rescues them from all their Read more…
My Dear Daughter, From the moment the thought of you entered my mind, I have been wrapped around your little finger. I have loved you as only a father can love his little girl. I can still see that bright eyed look in your eyes the day you were born—taking in the light and sound and excitement of this big Read more…
An apology on behalf of all women. Dear Brothers, I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry. While I don’t know you personally, I want to write this letter to you on behalf of all women. I hope and pray that it will speak truth in your life and call you to experience mercy in a new way, and a deeper relationship with Read more…
The devil has a way of making a sin look like no big deal when you are thinking of committing it, but too big of a deal for God to forgive after you’ve done it. We’ve all experienced the endless voices of harsh thoughts after we’ve made mistakes. So, how do we know which voices are from God? If you’ve Read more…
Tears dropped from her cheeks. I had been seeing this young lady for some time for depression. As the session turned to discussion of her social affairs, she acknowledged that she had given herself to many partners with little romantic interest. She had experienced a past victimization, distant parents, and academic challenges that never had been fully resolved. As we Read more…
In high school, I had a friend in my youth group who had a tendency to live a pretty reckless life. She liked going out and partying. She liked spending time with boys, hooking up and never seeing them again. She would go out and party on Saturday night but come to youth group and church on Sunday. She always Read more…
As she sat across from us, her pain was almost palpable. A family friend sat with my then-fiancé and I as she lamented about her oldest son’s behavior problems. He struggled with nutrition, attention deficit and general disobedience. As she went on, she eventually divulged the real, haunting, deep truth behind her struggle. The root of her pain wasn’t her Read more…
I was 4 years old when I first asked my dad about sex. My dad looked back at me in horror, so I asked, “Isn’t it when two people get naked and French kiss?” Totally innocent question, right? Well, maybe not totally innocent. I had peeked through enough fingers when my parents would cover my eyes during certain movie scenes. Read more…
“Believe me. Listen. You will hear me. I am worthy.” I do not listen to Lady Gaga lyrics often, but lately, her voice has been echoing in my mind. Over and over, I have watched her music video, which powerfully depicts the devastation of campus rape. Over and over, I hear the agonizing cry, “Til it happens to you, you Read more…
En el instituto, había una chica en mi grupo de fe que llevaba una vida bastante desordenada. Le gustaba salir de fiesta, pasar tiempo con chicos, liarse con ellos y no volverles a ver. Ella podía salir de fiesta los sábados por la noche, y luego venir al grupo de fe y a misa el domingo. Tenía una increíble capacidad Read more…
“God shows no partiality (Acts 10:34). He does not take account of nobility of birth, length of time in his service, or the number of our good works. What counts with God is a devout soul’s increased fervor and more ardent love. He does not consider how you once behaved, but what you have now begun to be.” – St. Read more…
“Look at all these sinners.” My friend sent me that text earlier today as I stood in line for confession, attached was a picture he took of me standing in the line across from him waiting to enter the confessional. I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the text. It’s true, I am a terrible sinner—we all are. Plot Read more…
In a comment beneath a chastity post I once wrote, a reader left a disconcerting note: “I’m not a virgin, so I guess I can’t practice chastity.” The comment hurt my heart. The person who wrote it had dismissed chastity as irrelevant as a result of sexual experience—a sign of a misconception of chastity that says it isn’t designed for Read more…
I received many wonderful responses to my piece “When God Provides.” I got texts from old friends, girls I knew in high school, former students, and e-mails and messages from many other women. Some wrote with hopeful hearts, some with broken hearts, many had expectant and joyful hearts. Some wrote sharing they knew they were settling for less than they Read more…
I grew up Catholic but never truly knew Jesus until high school, when I began attending youth group and Bible study. Jesus became my everything, which is exactly how it should be. I stumbled often, but realized that even though we mess up sometimes, He always forgives. He loves us with a love that knows no bounds. This was one Read more…
Every time I hear the word “breakup,” images of Ben and Jerry’s, sappy movies, and a large supply of tissues come to my mind. Because, let’s face it: breakups are hard and ice cream is delicious…. That being said, I think that it is time to start looking at breakups in a bit of a different light. Sure, sobbing, crying, Read more…
I’ve always said that it’s possible to start over, regardless of the past. But what does that mean? It’s one thing to decide to start over, but it’s another thing to figure out what to do with the effects of the past. You don’t just hear a riveting chastity talk and sign a fresh purity commitment card, and then everything Read more…
Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? As a teenager whose heart was beaten and bruised through the pain of my parent’s divorce, I didn’t think so. To say I was bitter would be an understatement. My response to our broken home was a promise to ensure I would never relive such Read more…
“If it were me, I would feel trapped.” I had no idea how prophetic those words would become. I had just told my Godmother that I was planning on moving in with my boyfriend of a year and half, and I promptly ignored her. Because of my choices, I had already allowed sin to take hold of me, and in Read more…
Chastity was once a virtue I dismissed as something that applied to “those religious types” who were brought up in the Church. I conjured up every reason imaginable to excuse myself from its demands. I told myself that purity was abnormal, and I settled for living a life that deadened me within. I saw the way that our Lord was Read more…
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