15 Tips to Stay Hooked on Porn

I’ve lost count of how many men and women have asked me how to break free from porn. Usually, I offer what advice I can, and then recommend they view the videos, blogs, and articles on our site, here. However, because I’ve spent so much time telling people how to stop looking at porn, I figured it was time to write a blog offering all the best tips for how to remain trapped in a porn addiction for as long as possible.

Why would I do such a thing?

About 75 years ago, C.S. Lewis penned the book Screwtape Letters. In it, he crafted a fictional series of letters between one demon (Screwtape) to another, explaining how to ruin a person’s soul. It’s a spiritual classic on how to resist temptation because he unveils the tactics of the enemy. When a person understands the strategies of the devil, one is better able to reject his advances and combat one’s sins.

So, I’m going to try the same approach with the topic porn, and give you the top 15 tips to stay stuck in porn. Keep in mind this is all backwards:

1. Believe in yourself. You can conquer this alone. If you go to others for help, it will only make them think less of you. Don’t humiliate yourself and become a burden to others in the process—most especially your family. Even if you have failed to overcome this vice for ten years on your own, keep at it. You’ll break through if you just try hard enough all alone. This way, your pride will be spared, because you can’t afford to take a hit there. Whatever you do, don’t use something like Covenant Eyes, which will block impure content from your devices and notify an accountability partner to keep you strong. Don’t bother with that, or with Accountable2You.com. It’s too much effort. If you can keep everything a secret, then you can continue to hate and love your sin without having to deal it a lethal blow.

2. Pretend that your only problem is lust. If you realize that there are underlying issues such as boredom, stress, loneliness, anger, self-pity, and entitlement that might need to be addressed, then you might end up uprooting the addiction. Don’t go to the root. Just keep hacking away at the weed.

3. Don’t pay attention to when and where you fall. If you pay attention to these things, you might end up discovering a pattern that could be addressed and you might end up replacing bad habits with good ones. Don’t be so obsessive about it. Its not like there’s an app that could help you keep track of that stuff.

4. Avoid counseling. If you have a persistent porn addiction, don’t go to a counselor. Counselors are only for crazy people who have debilitating mental health problems. You’re fine. Besides, where would you find a good counselor near you or one who would help you through Skype, let alone a support group to encourage you?

5. Remind yourself that no one is getting hurt. Porn is a victimless crime. Your soul isn’t hurt, your brain isn’t being damaged, porn doesn’t fuel the sex trade industry, and porn stars are well-adjusted and happy individuals who are thriving in their personal lives. Also, your future spouse and children won’t mind your little habit. Even if you think they won’t like it, you’ll overcome the habit by the time they come along. No rush.

6. If you ever fall again, this means you’ll never be free. Give up now. Don’t bother going to confession, because you’ve said it all before. What’s the point? If you insist on going to confession, make sure to priest-hop. In other words, don’t stick with the same priest more than once. That way, none of them can follow the trail of the scent of your sin. After all, you would only disappoint him by falling again. What would he think of you? He’d never look the same way at you again. No priest could relate to you anyway. If you go to a new priest each time, it’s much less humbling. Again, humility is to be avoided at all costs.

7. Your flashbacks will never go away, so just accept them. When memories of your habit come to mind at the most random and unwelcome times, just take that as a reminder that you’re never going to be free. Whatever you do, don’t take it as a reminder to pray for healing, or even worse—to pray for the healing and conversion of the person in your flashback. Don’t do that. Don’t transform temptation into intercession. Temptations are supposed to entice you towards hell, not remind you to bring others closer to heaven.

8. Consider lust and the temptation to be the same thing. As long as you think it’s a sin to be tempted to sin, then you can rest assured that you’re perpetually displeasing God by having sexual desires. That’s a healthy place to be. You won’t go neurotic. Indeed, keep telling yourself that if you become really really holy, then all of your sexual desires will evaporate. So long as any sexual desires persist, you’re a failure. After all, the annihilation of desire is the goal of purity. You must become numb to the beauty of others. Otherwise, you might discover that the beauty of creation leads you to its Source. Finally, if you realize that temptations to sin are opportunities to practice heroic virtue, then you might begin to break free from sin, and who would want to do that? Everyone knows that sin brings you deep joy and lasting satisfaction.

9. If you’re a woman, you’re the only one who struggles with this. To put it plainly, you’re a freak of nature. Lust is a guy problem. Something must be seriously wrong with you that you would fall into such a guy’s sin. You should be struggling with exclusively female problems like immodesty, gossip, and emotional things (guys don’t EVER struggle with those). Because you’re so unusual, you should definitely not confess this. You’ll just scandalize the priest and end up being the first woman on earth to confess such a horrid and unwomanly habit. Do yourself a favor, and live in shame. Give up, because you’re the only one who struggles with this.

10. If you’re a guy, you’re just like everyone else if you look at porn. Seriously, what guy doesn’t? Sex is natural. You just appreciate women. Women have a right to be in this industry, and you’re a champion of their first amendment rights . . . by spending countless hours in isolation gawking at your screen. Why should any man feel the need to rise above such base inclinations? Take it easy on yourself, don’t waste months of your life transforming it with something like Exodus 90. Who needs a spiritual six pack when you can pamper yourself?

11. If you feel called to the priesthood or religious life, scratch that off your list. Nobody called to those vocations would ever struggle with lust in this manner. Lust is only a struggle for the people who aren’t called to be celibate. For celibates, purity comes naturally.

12. Stay away from websites like The Porn Effect, Fight the New Drug, and E5men. Stick with other websites, if you know what I mean. Those three sites might make demands on you and ask you to sacrifice to kill your habit. Don’t follow fanatics like @MattFradd on Twitter, or use apps like Victory. Instead, make sure to click on every possibly immodest Twitter profile picture you see. You have to click. You’ll probably die if your curiosity isn’t satisfied.

13. Stay away from that Lady. You know, the one whom the old women ramble on about in their Rosaries? Don’t even mention her name, especially not when you’re tempted. While you’re at it, stay away from sacramentals in general. No need for holy water, crucifixes, holy images, etc. That’s all superstitious stuff anyway.

14. Don’t go to Mass too often, and steer clear of Eucharistic Adoration. The flesh of God might just be the antidote to the addictions of the flesh of man. So, stay away. The Bread of Angels is overrated. It’s not like you could find a Mass or adoration chapel near you, anyway.

15. You don’t need to kill the habit today. Tomorrow would work better. Actually. tomorrow is quite busy as well. Perhaps next month would be ideal.

____________________________

j-evertJason Evert founded chastity.com has spoken on six continents to more than one million people about the virtue of chastity. He is the author of more than ten books, including How to Find Your Soulmate without Losing Your Soul and Theology of the Body for Teens.

19 Comments

  1. Very clever. This was helpful too. It amazes me how many of these things is how I personally think and need to change. It was awesome! Super eye opening

    By Christian Hadley | 2 years ago Reply
    • Wow! What an eye opener…Thank you for this post.

      By Jennifer | 2 years ago Reply
      • What does my comment awaiting moderation mean?
        I feel bad just for responding…why? All I know is that I started getting bombarded with sexual temptations and desires to look at porn since lent, and Have been chaste for quite a while…I’ve even began to question if I’ve ever been holy…so much so, that I feel like I should no longer take part in any kind of ministry…problem is, I USED to be a sex addict and drug addict. That was over 10 years ago. But not only am I being tempted, but I feel as though the thoughts are almost being forced onto my mind and body even when I don’t give consent. This may go on for hours…I’m too ashamed to talk about it with the priest- I’ve priest hopped because of it- I’ve started believing I’m a waste of their time…thanks to this article…i can see that’s what the enemy wants me to think. This is just one of many problems though-

        By Jennifer | 2 years ago Reply
  2. This. Was. AWESOME!!!

    Would love to see some more Screwtape-esque posts like this about other chastity-related issues.

    Keep up the great work for Christ and His Church, Jason!

    in Christ,
    Greg

    By CatholicReligionTeacher.com | 2 years ago Reply
    • Yeah same here! Lewis was very effective in that approach, so why not?

      Hey – Does anyone know Jason’s current email address please? Need to ask him something personal urgent and the last one i’ve got of his is expired or useless. Thanks, and shout out from Malta!

      By D.A. | 2 years ago Reply
  3. Great stuff Jason, but I am going to add one thing that you forgot.

    GO TO CONFESSION

    Monthly for sure. Weekly if you can. More specifically, go to a priest who won’t let you off easy. Go to one who will challenge you. One who will be tough on you. And when you find this tough as nails priest, be 100% honest with him. Cause he will help you draw out the reasons why you look at porn and he will help you attack the issue head on.

    By Andrew L | 2 years ago Reply
    • excellent comment

      By Ines Stefañuk | 2 years ago Reply
    • In the spirit of the letter:
      Don’t go to confession. That’s only people who commit sins in public like not going to Mass or sleeping with someone else.
      And if you do decide to go to confession for some other reason, leave pornography out. Say something vague like, “I did bad things”, but don’t say how often. You still want to look good in front of the priest. While you’re at it. Try to confess with a different priest each time, so they don’t think you have a problem.

      By ALEJANDRO FLORES | 2 years ago Reply
  4. I dunno Jason, Worth the gamble, but I dunno about this…

    By Criostoir | 2 years ago Reply
  5. Yes, this is just what I have been thinking, too. However, I appreciate your suggestions and advice on how to break free. Thank you!

    By Karen C. | 2 years ago Reply
  6. Hello! I´m from Argentina and I would like to read your page in spanish because I don´t know very much about english language… I hope some day you can traslate your whole page …. my bests wishes, God blessed you

    By Ines Stefañuk | 2 years ago Reply
  7. Superb! You really hit the nail on the head…Thanks Jason.

    Greetings from India.

    By Lester | 2 years ago Reply
  8. What a great article. Very inspiring in exposing Satan’s tricks. Thanks a lot Jason

    By Emmanuel Boniface | 2 years ago Reply
  9. This is great!

    By Tony | 2 years ago Reply
  10. very interesting Jason. Thanks for the suggestions

    By Cynthia | 2 years ago Reply
  11. I think this article is great… if you don’t take it in the wrong way. Jason is literally giving you the 15 reasons in which you can get hooked to porn, and the top 15 reasons on how to avoid it in the same article. Porn can be addictive, but if you are reading this article you are looking for a way out.

    The point of Chastity Project is to help you discover your identity and the reason for chastity. For anyone who reads this, please follow the advice backwards and become unhooked. You are worth more than to just be succumbed by lust. My point is explained in the following:

    Did you know that “no matter how much probing and electrical prodding,” a neurosurgeon “found there is no place in the brain that can ’cause a patient to believe or decide'”. (Lee Strobel, The Case for a Creator, p. 258.)

    How is it then that we believe and decide? The fact is that there is more out there than just the physical world. There is God. You are His daughter, His son. He loves you beyond understanding. Then why deprecate yourself to an addiction of the flesh, when there exists more? God loves you, even if you’ve made mistakes.

    In the end, porn won’t save you on your death bed. God in his infinite mercy will.

    By Anonymous | 2 years ago Reply
  12. This made me want to watch porn

    By AJ | 2 years ago Reply
  13. Great read, lets NOT do these things 🙂

    By raver | 2 years ago Reply
  14. I’ve struggles with pornography for years I still do, funny thing is after I have done something bad I always go back searching for something that will help me make me quit. I’ve dealt with this since I was little about 11. It really started when I was about 8 by these music videos that exposed a lot of sexuality in them, and that triggered me ever since I was curious of what sex was. And so when I reached the age about 11 possible 12 I began to watch porn. Now for a little girl all this was overwhelming and it just sucked me in and now I’m 15. I’ve been trying to stop but I don’t know how to stop myself it’s as if I tie myself with filtering my webs to prevent me from destroying my innocence any further. But suddenly I’m triggered and I am nothing but a beast transforming out to get what I want and I need help. I know I do and I need someone to talk to to check on me to help me get through with it.

    By Jackie | 2 years ago Reply

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