I did it!! I walked away from my prior LGBTQ+ mindset. I am way happier now, no longer looking to Pride Rainbows for support, sense of being, or identity. How? Because God’s love touched my heart, specifically through the journey of striving to grow in chastity. Along the way, I discovered that chastity is proposed (not imposed) by the Church. We all have free will to embrace or reject that proposal, no matter our romantic/sexual attractions or our state in life (married or single).
I hope that everyone in the world can taste the peace, love, joy, hope, and freedom that I now experience today in that journey.
While striving to grow in chastity, I also came to see these life-transforming truths, with regard to all things LGBTQ+:
- Feeling uncomfortable in my self-concept (as a boy) did not mean I was trans! Rather, society hijacked my body discomfort and desire to belong and “assigned it” the meaning of “being trans.” Society lied to me by saying the only way I could be honest with myself is if I embraced an LGBTQ+ type of identity. Welp, I’m honest with myself about the wholeness of my romantic/sexual attractions/inclinations, and I don’t need to (or want to) take on an LGBTQ+ identity. So there.
- My desire for intimate closeness with a person of the same sex did not mean that my identity is “gay.” I see now that I was longing for closeness that could arise from a holy friendship. Today, I am convinced that the world doesn’t understand friendship, let alone holy friendship. This book, Spiritual Friendship, was very helpful along the way – big recommend!
- I didn’t need to act on attractions/inclinations to “find out” or “make sure” of my sexuality. I already knew that if something felt really good, I was weak-willed enough to probably aim for that over and over again, in any context. Instead, the pursuit of chastity helped me grow in self-control. Now that changed my life – the intentional practice of self-control. It helped counter my tendency to go head-and-heart first into relationships the moment anyone gave me the time of day (I was a thirsty kid, I can admit). Isolation from shame didn’t help either, but pursuing chastity blew the isolation and shame out of the water (over time).
- Attractions needed to be considered distinct from identity/self-concept. This helped me depart from a “victim mindset,” for I could choose God anytime, anywhere. THAT helped me realize that I could still write the next chapter of my life.
- A guaranteed fruit of chastity is holy relationships, and a possible fruit of holy relationships is holy opposite-sex sexual/romantic attractions. I’m living proof that this can occur (and I am far from alone in that).
Most importantly, I’m here because people like you radiated an attractive example of God’s love that hooked me from the beginning. I can’t look back, nor do I want to. Opening my heart to chastity has brought something far more beautiful, and I want the whole world to know!
Hudson Byblow is a Catholic speaker, author, and consultant who lives in the Midwest where he has a career in education. He has presented at National and International conferences in the United States and Canada and also presents to clergy, schools, and parishes. Additionally, Hudson serves as a consultant to various Catholic agencies, speakers, and educators. His website is www.hudsonbyblow.com and he can be booked by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.