Why are you so sad tonight? What happened? What is it you wish you could go back and change?
I understand how you feel. Everyone has something we wish we could undo. I am so sorry you are going through such pain, sadness, and anger. I am angry too, but not with you. I am furious with the evils in this world that hurt you, lied to you, manipulated you, tempted you, and left you without the guidance or love you needed. It doesn’t matter to me if or how much you may have been at fault. Why should it? All I know is I love you, and I hate to see anything hurt you.
Are you afraid of telling me what happened? Please don’t be. When someone truly loves you, you don’t ever have to be afraid. Do you fear I will reject you? Never. I pray that no one you may date ever makes you feel unworthy of their love. Jesus says you can run to Him exactly as you are, and since you are good enough for His love you are good enough for anyone! When I am the one you are dating, I pray that God will give me the right words to let you know how much I love you, honor you, and respect you.
Are you afraid that what you have to say will hurt me? It will, but only because it hurt you. How can anything that hurt you not hurt me when I love you? But do not fear you have given away something you can now never give to me.
After all, God is love and He created the act of love. In everything that goes with it, whether you are beholding someone’s full beauty, touching them, or creating new life with them, it can only be love when God is involved. God has no part in sin, so whatever you may have done, you have still never yet shared the experience with someone of making love.
It is sad that you once experienced actions so profoundly lacking in love. But I won’t be jealous because that is not what I want anyway. Whatever happened between you and another is not at all what I want to happen between you and me. I want something completely different and so much better for us. A sacrament is fundamentally different from a sin, even one done in ignorance with good intentions. In a sacrament God gives us to each other so that we may lay down our lives for the true and eternal good of the beloved. I don’t want us to use one another for a time but to cherish one another forever.
So, you see, the only way I could ever lose the purity of your love, the only way I can meet you and find that your gift of self is not set apart for me, is not what may have happened in the past. The only way that could happen is if we run away from God, because then we would not be capable of loving each other purely and giving ourselves fully. That would be the tragedy, the only way anything could be permanently lost. But we won’t let that happen.
However, if we are going to share a love so much better than anything we have known before, we need to get ready. My love, run to God. Only He can heal you and help you to break destructive patterns. Only He can infuse you with His grace to flee temptations and grow in the virtues needed to love. Please don’t despair or settle and pull away from Him because of your pain. Let Jesus love you extravagantly, for you deserve to be respected and cherished, and I want nothing more for you than this.
I promise I will be trying my best to follow Christ and let Him always change me more and more into someone able to love you fully. Please do the same for me. While we are yet unknown to each other we can still work for each other, and then when we meet we will be capable of sharing this kind of beautiful love.
My dearest, I have the greatest respect for any struggles and sufferings you go through to reject counterfeit love. I have struggled with plenty of my own sins, and I know how hard it can be. Your daily choice to open yourself to God and let Him bring you to the right path so that we can be together deserves the highest honor. If you only knew how much I admire you! When I think of the magnificent gift God wants to give to me in you, I am truly humbled and overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. I love you, honor you, and respect you forever.
I can’t wait for the day I’ll meet you! I long for when we are together and can share our Faith and joys, our work and interests, our sorrows and trials, and everything in our lives. And of course, I’m looking forward to that beautiful day when we stand at the altar before God and both of us finally become one.
Know that you are always in my prayers. Please pray for me. I love you.
With all my love,
Your future spouse
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Sarah Karlyn Larue is a 27-year-old author of eight books, who loves her Faith and loves writing and is happiest when putting them together. Her latest series, That They Might Have Love, is for all Catholic young women who want to seek God first in their love lives and find greater love and joy when they are single, dating, and married.