If you’ve ever heard of the Beatles, then you’ve probably heard of Paul McCartney. If you’ve ever heard of Paul McCartney, then you’ve probably heard that he just got his big break from some artist named Kanye West. Last week, there were several funny tweets that were posted by young fans who saw Kanye and Paul perform together, but they didn’t know who Paul McCartney was. They declared on their twitter that Kanye had just given some guy named Paul his big break.
The problem is that this description of events is backwards. If the Beatles had not broken the music barrier in North America, would it have ever evolved as it did? Probably not.
However, this “trending news story” throws into the spotlight the ever-important matter called “objective truth.” If absolute truth did not exist, then indeed we could say Kanye gave McCartney his big break. However, absolute truth does exist… and it forces us to order things appropriately, reflecting absolute truth.
Enough about music, let’s talk about how this applies to us:
If you are like me, you were raised in a world that promoted “notches in the bedpost” to be a means by which to measure the happiness in life.
But does it work?
A hookup involves two components: temporary union followed by permanent separation. It’s that simple. Even “Friends With Benefits” is simply a prolonged version of this same reality. In fact, a recent study showed that only 9.8% of those involved in a “Friends With Benefits” arrangement eventually entered an actual dating relationship with the other person. Furthermore, although 83% of college women prefer a traditional romantic relationship to a hookup, they were twice as likely to hook up with a guy as to go on a first date. However, only 20% reported being satisfied after a hookup.
With such a low success rate to get the happiness we are looking for, why do we do it, and pretend it fulfills us?
The reason is that our culture is addicted to the worship of the body. We try to validate ourselves by means of physical gratification, and we often don’t know another way.
But there is another way. Many of us are today choosing to live this other way.
Instead of saying Kanye helped McCartney (or saying that lust will bring us happiness), we can instead be honest with ourselves if we put things into an order that reflects truth: McCartney helped Kanye (chastity brings happiness). This is logic. Heck, just think about it: are you happy when you let yourself get used as means to fulfill someone else’s conquest? Meanwhile, it is the virtue of chastity that frees us to love.
If you doubt what I’m saying, just ask anyone who is immersed in the hook-up culture who is trying to get out. Someone is always hurting in the hook-up world (and sometimes the pain gets drowned in more hook-ups). Those are the casualties of war, so to speak. Don’t we deserve better than that from our culture?
If you would like to get out of the hook-up culture, you can (it’s never too late). Surround yourself with people who value purity and are living examples that purity can make sexuality holy, regardless of the past. A heart of purity can make you whole again, and give you that sense of self-worth that we are all seeking.
If the hook-up culture hasn’t given you a happy heart, perhaps it is time to open your heart to purity.
Hudson Byblow is a teacher and Catholic speaker who lives in Saskatchewan. His passion is helping others find their way to a deeper relationship with Christ. He likes old cars, traveling, and long walks on the beach (and anything else to do with sunshine). He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.