Paul J. Kim

Just kidding.

Now… Let’s do some real talk. If you’re single, raise your hand. Now take a deep breath. Everything is going to be okay, you’re not gonna die… Unless you text and drive.

I know the holidays are here, and everyone plus their little sibling seems to have a significant other, who they’re posting pictures with on Instagram. But you? Why have you been celebrating Singles Awareness Day since Valentine’s Day of… 2000 something? It’s because you’re terribly un-loveable and have nothing beneficial to share with anyone, especially your frumpy fashion sense, right…?

NO! Stop being so emo and start believing in yourself! I know it’s not fun to be single when you don’t want to be. There was a period in my life, beginning in college, when (aside from several awkward dates and that one time I was trying to discern a vocation to priesthood), I was single. This period was a DECADE long. 10 Years. 120 Months. 43,800 Days. During this time I could have crumpled up into fetal position and cried myself to sleep while feeding myself Bon Bon’s, ALL BYYY MYYSELLF (insert Celine Dion’s voice here). But I didn’t, because that’s dumb. Not so much the Bon Bon’s part, but the other part.

The purpose of this entry isn’t to give you 10 ways to ask someone out, but rather:

Make the Most Out of Being Single.

It’s a really important time in your life. It’s so crucial that it will significantly impact your future “everything.” 100 percent of the time, your future will be influenced in some way by your past. Haven’t you seen The Notebook? I haven’t. Anyways, use today well.

I don’t presume to know God’s will for your life and destiny; but I do know He doesn’t want you to wallow in self-pity. Rather than seeing your situation in the glass-half-empty-forever position, see it as a golden opportunity to grow as a person: In mind, body, and soul. The more you work on “you” now, the better off your future marriage and ultimately your vocation will be, because of it. So the challenge I present to you today is simple:

Make one tangible goal for yourself this week in each category of:

1. Mind

2. Body

3. Soul.

Then do it. Because if all we do is read articles on how to improve our life, but don’t carry out any of the advice, it’s like wasting time on the internet… Oh wait. Ha. Here, I’m going to help you out with some ideas to get started:

1. Mind:

– Read a book that will benefit you

– Try The Five Love Languages by Chapman

– Grow in self-awareness

– Meet a counselor to deal with unresolved issues

– Get out of debt / control of your finances (DaveRamsey.com)

– Learn a new skill / trade

– Learn an instrument (learn for free on YouTube)

– Don’t feed negative thoughts

– Turn off Netflix and do something on this list

 2. Body:

– Exercise

– Get to the Gym

– Eat healthier, while enjoying junk on occasion

– Join an intramural league

– Learn a martial art

– Kick a bank robber in the face

– Go volunteer

– Do a random act of kindness for someone in need

 3. Soul:

– Read the Gospels, 5 minutes a day

– Read the book of Tobit in the Old Testament: It’s about God answering the prayers of single people

– Join a youth / young adult group

– Make a Good Confession and let God forgive you, of everything

– Forgive the people who have hurt you

– Pray the Rosary

– Go to Mass every Sunday; shock the old ladies by going on a weekday (Masstimes.org)

– Make good friends & get rid of bad ones

– Work on your relationship with Jesus. Daily.

If you’re reading this, I’m praying for you. Young adulthood is not always easy. But it’s all worth it, and God is faithful.

“I know well the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

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Paul J. Kim is an International youth speaker, vocalist, and beatboxer. He presents and performs full time, sharing his love for Christ via music, comedy, and inspirational talks. He has released two music albums entitled “The World Sings” (2013) and “Run Fly Fall” (2009), and is a featured speaker at NCYC, the Steubenville Summer Youth Conferences, and the Spirit in the City Festival in London, UK. His background includes a Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy (Hope International Univ.), a Bachelors in Philosophy (Franciscan University of Steubenville), and over a decade of experience working in youth ministry. Paul resides in Southern California with his wife, Maggie, and newborn daughter, Audrey. Visit Paul’s website at www.PJKmusic.com.

Every year in the United States, there’s this national holiday that rolls around called: Super Bowl Sunday. Half of the people at these household Super Bowl parties are there to see two NFL Football teams go at it for glory, in fierce competition. The other half of the partygoers are there to… well, see the commercials.

Last year, companies spent a whopping 8 Million dollars for a 60 second commercial during Super Bowl programming, while others spent 4 Million dollars for a 30 second one. These companies know that there are going to be tens of millions of people watching their flat screen TV’s all across America, so they are willing to invest big money during prime time, in order to market their products in creative and humorous ways.

A few years ago, I was at one of these parties and during a timeout, a certain commercial started being shown. There was a delicious looking bacon and cheese hamburger, with two meat patties, being magnified on the screen. I literally began to drool at the sight of this thing, wondering where I could get one. Then after a few seconds, the camera zoomed out and revealed someone holding the burger. Sure enough, it was a very attractive woman, who was wearing a bikini and eating that burger like she was intoxicated by it.

Here is what happened in the room at this point during the commercial: 1. Moms began to cover the eyes of their children, 2. The other women started saying, “This is so gross”, while their boyfriends or husbands half-heartedly shared their sentiments while they continued watching distractedly, 3. Some of the men had no shame and their eyes and imaginations were glued to the TV, like moths to bright light. For a moment I found myself a bit dazed and confused as to why this woman’s body was sharing the screen with the burger I had coveted so badly a few seconds ago. And then it dawned on me as I came to my senses: “Carl’s Jr. literally thinks I’m going to fall for this garbage?!”

It’s no mystery that sex sells. It sells a lot. And it traps unsuspecting men (and women) to buy into a huge lie. Namely, we’re taught as a society to reduce women into OBJECTS. Not people with minds, hearts, souls, hopes, dreams, and aspirations… Nope, just objects to lust after. And ultimately, what is Lust? It’s using another person for our own selfish gratification. And what’s the harm in that? The harm is in the fact that no person should ever be used or treated like an object, for their body parts. Rather, they should be afforded the God-given dignity and respect they deserve (even if they don’t ask for it themselves), because they have been created in God’s image and likeness.

You see, the advertisement executives at Carl’s Jr. were probably thinking this while they were coming up with this commercial:

“Hey there America! Where the fellas at? We know you love bacon! We know you love burgers and cheese! What’s more American than that? We know you like women and sex too, so here’s our lovely model whose name is… Actually, who cares about her name! Here’s her body instead! You like what you see, don’t you? You’re welcome. Enjoy. You guys are so dumb, and you make us filthy rich. See, as you’re watching our commercial, you are associating the sexual feelings you have towards our bikini model, with our double bacon cheeseburger. So every time you drive by our restaurants and franchises, you’re going to be reminded of your sexual stimulation, and at the same time, will want to buy our combo meal. So cheers to you, Stupid! All we do is flash you body parts, and you reward us with your business and appetite. Have some fries with that, a soft drink, and come back again!”

How far we have fallen, gentlemen. We shouldn’t be entertained by such petty advertisements. Instead we should be insulted… Twice. Once: because someone’s mother, daughter, or sister is being degraded as a sexual object, and gawked at by men around the world, for the sake of amusement and selling burgers. Twice: because people think we are so pathetic, we have no control whatsoever over our sexual appetites… Like untrained animals. Here’s a challenge for you to prove them otherwise: Don’t eat at Carl’s Jr. anymore—or any establishment that degrades women for the sake of profit.

“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” ~Matthew 5:28

Men… Brothers… wake up.
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Paul J. Kim is an International youth speaker, vocalist, and beatboxer. He presents and performs full time, sharing his love for Christ via music, comedy, and inspirational talks. He has released two music albums entitled “The World Sings” (2013) and “Run Fly Fall” (2009), and has been featured at NCYC, the Steubenville Summer Youth Conferences, and the Spirit in the City Festival in London, UK. His background includes a Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy (Hope International Univ.), a Philosophy Degree (Franciscan University of Steubenville), and over a decade of experience working in youth ministry. Paul resides in Southern California, with his wife, Maggie. Visit Paul’s website at www.PJKmusic.com.