If You’re Single, You’re Gonna Die

Just kidding.

Now… Let’s do some real talk. If you’re single, raise your hand. Now take a deep breath. Everything is going to be okay, you’re not gonna die… Unless you text and drive.

I know the holidays are here, and everyone plus their little sibling seems to have a significant other, who they’re posting pictures with on Instagram. But you? Why have you been celebrating Singles Awareness Day since Valentine’s Day of… 2000 something? It’s because you’re terribly un-loveable and have nothing beneficial to share with anyone, especially your frumpy fashion sense, right…?

NO! Stop being so emo and start believing in yourself! I know it’s not fun to be single when you don’t want to be. There was a period in my life, beginning in college, when (aside from several awkward dates and that one time I was trying to discern a vocation to priesthood), I was single. This period was a DECADE long. 10 Years. 120 Months. 43,800 Days. During this time I could have crumpled up into fetal position and cried myself to sleep while feeding myself Bon Bon’s, ALL BYYY MYYSELLF (insert Celine Dion’s voice here). But I didn’t, because that’s dumb. Not so much the Bon Bon’s part, but the other part.

The purpose of this entry isn’t to give you 10 ways to ask someone out, but rather:

Make the Most Out of Being Single.

It’s a really important time in your life. It’s so crucial that it will significantly impact your future “everything.” 100 percent of the time, your future will be influenced in some way by your past. Haven’t you seen The Notebook? I haven’t. Anyways, use today well.

I don’t presume to know God’s will for your life and destiny; but I do know He doesn’t want you to wallow in self-pity. Rather than seeing your situation in the glass-half-empty-forever position, see it as a golden opportunity to grow as a person: In mind, body, and soul. The more you work on “you” now, the better off your future marriage and ultimately your vocation will be, because of it. So the challenge I present to you today is simple:

Make one tangible goal for yourself this week in each category of:

1. Mind

2. Body

3. Soul.

Then do it. Because if all we do is read articles on how to improve our life, but don’t carry out any of the advice, it’s like wasting time on the internet… Oh wait. Ha. Here, I’m going to help you out with some ideas to get started:

1. Mind:

– Read a book that will benefit you

– Try The Five Love Languages by Chapman

– Grow in self-awareness

– Meet a counselor to deal with unresolved issues

– Get out of debt / control of your finances (

– Learn a new skill / trade

– Learn an instrument (learn for free on YouTube)

– Don’t feed negative thoughts

– Turn off Netflix and do something on this list

 2. Body:

– Exercise

– Get to the Gym

– Eat healthier, while enjoying junk on occasion

– Join an intramural league

– Learn a martial art

– Kick a bank robber in the face

– Go volunteer

– Do a random act of kindness for someone in need

 3. Soul:

– Read the Gospels, 5 minutes a day

– Read the book of Tobit in the Old Testament: It’s about God answering the prayers of single people

– Join a youth / young adult group

– Make a Good Confession and let God forgive you, of everything

– Forgive the people who have hurt you

– Pray the Rosary

– Go to Mass every Sunday; shock the old ladies by going on a weekday (

– Make good friends & get rid of bad ones

– Work on your relationship with Jesus. Daily.

If you’re reading this, I’m praying for you. Young adulthood is not always easy. But it’s all worth it, and God is faithful.

“I know well the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11


IMG_0824_2Paul J. Kim is an International youth speaker, vocalist, and beatboxer. He presents and performs full time, sharing his love for Christ via music, comedy, and inspirational talks. He has released two music albums entitled “The World Sings” (2013) and “Run Fly Fall” (2009), and is a featured speaker at NCYC, the Steubenville Summer Youth Conferences, and the Spirit in the City Festival in London, UK. His background includes a Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy (Hope International Univ.), a Bachelors in Philosophy (Franciscan University of Steubenville), and over a decade of experience working in youth ministry. Paul resides in Southern California with his wife, Maggie, and newborn daughter, Audrey. Visit Paul’s website at

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