The dating world can be tough to navigate. Scratch that– the dating world IS tough to navigate. There are some lessons which only come through experience while others can be gained through the wisdom of good friends and trusted advisors. In this blog I’d like to share a huge lesson that I have learned through my own life experience and through the stories of friends who have been in similar situations. I will put it simply at first and then go into greater detail later… Are you ready for this?
DO NOT WASTE TIME ON SOMEONE WHO YOU ALREADY KNOW IS BAD FOR YOU.
Did you get that? Did I say it loud enough? Ok good, great, lets dig into this.
I want to start this off by bringing a certain Bible verse to the front of your mind.The book of Proverbs, one of my favorite books in the Old Testament says:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)
I want us to consider how every relationship which we let into our lives either produces good fruits or bad fruits. Either we become more fully ourselves because of the love and support of another or we lose sight of who we are in an effort to feed an unhealthy relationship. This goes for any kind of relationship but we are focusing on romantic relationships at this moment.
If we choose to let someone who does not have our best interest in mind become the object of our affection, we are choosing a painful path for ourselves and depriving the world of the person who we are called to be. I have seen too many people fall victim to this lost sense of self by pursuing someone because they were physically attracted to them even though they knew this someone would most likely not be good for them.
To guard your heart is to treat your future self with respect.
Our world encourages us constantly to live in the moment and ignore the long term implications of our actions. Our world tells us to follow our passions to the bitter end, caring only what pleasure we can get from others– no matter how worthless it may make us or them feel afterward.
Our God tells us that we are worth dying for and that we are worthy of a real, lasting, soul empowering love. Our God shows us the kind of love we deserve by dying for us even though he knew all of our imperfections, sins, and insecurities.
Why would we think that He doesn’t want us to be loved in a similar way by another human being?
You are worthy of a good relationship. The truth is as simple as that. If we are being honest with ourselves, most of the time we can clearly tell the difference between someone who wants to love us and someone who wants to use us.
If you are the person who needs to hear this right now, or read it, I guess… be kind to your future self. Don’t forget the kind of love God wants to give you. Don’t settle for anything that doesn’t produce good fruit. Guard your heart from people who will take advantage of it.
I’ll be praying for you as you seek to encounter the authentic love that God has in mind for you.
God loves you so much and so do I.
1 Corinthians 13
Rebekah Hardy is a Religion teacher at St. Rose of Lima Elementary school where she teaches 6th-8th grade. Rebekah holds a degree in Theology and Religious education from Mount St. Mary’s University in Emmitsburg MD. Through her blog “Classy Catholic” at catholiclifesite.wordpress.com, Rebekah evangelizes to today’s youth by addressing topics of faith and relationships. Rebekah also has a YouTube channel where she shares insights into certain topics and questions about the faith. Rebekah can be reached At firstname.lastname@example.org.