Dating in the 21st Century

I’ve discerned religious life, gone on dating fasts and discerned what God is calling me to. I’m 30 and single. I promise that I’m still breathing and have not spontaneously combusted. All good here. I’m just aware that God is calling me to a vocation to marriage, and now it’s time to act. Looking back on my twenties, I see how God has healed the brokenness within me that stemmed from a life of living and participating in the “hook-up culture.” Now that He has healed me and I am at a new plateau, so to speak, it’s time to be proactive in search for my vocation.

I’ve signed up for a dating app. The first twenty four hours of using this app have been a wake-up call to the current state of our culture. I have had to exit out of three conversations because guys just jump from “Hi” to “Would you like to come over and….” Yea, I’m not going to finish that sentence. Because of this, I had to change the “about me” section on my profile to: “Hi I have morals, if you don’t like that, swipe left.” Surprisingly that has not scared every guy off. Lol

The fact that I even have to go to the extreme of signing up for an app is ridiculous in and of itself. In his book, Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World, Fr. Morrow says:

It’s unfortunate that women must be so active nowadays in the process of finding the right man. It didn’t used to be so. A woman used to be able to simply live her life, and a good man would come along.

But let us not despair! I also have the gift of being in an awesome Catholic community where there are really great virtuous men that I’m surrounded by. I know what you’re thinking… Why don’t you just date one of them? Believe me, if it were that simple… I would. One of my guy friends gave me some solid advice. He said that when you are out at all of these Catholic events, try to introduce yourself to at least one guy and have a casual conversation with him. Then try to make it to 5 guys a week that I’ve introduced myself to. His reasoning is, that by doing this, you upon yourself up to the possibility of getting a date. I know you are thinking whoaaa… That’s a lot! But if you are intentional, it’s really not if you are out at least three or four nights a week.

What happened next was pretty sweet. Guys were coming out of the wood works to introduce themselves to me! It was great… But what I learned from this little exercise was that after talking with some of the guys, A.) Guys are interested in me and B.) It’s worth waiting for the right person than settling for the wrong one. I have already waited this long…. And it’s worth it to wait for the right person.

Whether you are 23 and single or 30 and single, do not despair. God has a plan for you and you are not alone. Honestly, I would rather hang out with my friends than sit on this stupid dating app. But I’m doing my small part to make it a priority to be more proactive in search my calling. I know God has a plan for my life as he has a plan for your life. So if you are in search for your vocation, live in the now, do your small part, and then go live your life.

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Jacinta Florence hails from Tulsa, Oklahoma and is a graduate of St. Gregory’s University. As a young adult, she had a profound experience of leaving a lifestyle of being immersed in the culture to embracing her Catholic Faith. Her experience of working with Generation Life as a missionary, lead her to the Augustine Institute where she is getting her master’s in Theology. Jacinta now resides in Denver, Colorado and when she’s not studying in a coffee shop enjoys road trips and traveling to new states.

4 Comments

  1. Hey Jacinta,

    Thank you much for this encouragement. No settling! It seems really hard sometimes but it’s worth it. I’m glad to have stumbled on your article today.

    In Christ,
    Jenna

    By Jenna | 2 months ago Reply
    • Thanks Jenna, I’ll be praying for you!

      By Jacinta | 2 months ago Reply
  2. Great post Jacinta. I have never used a dating app, but friends of mine who have all tell me the same thing, “DON’T!”

    Like your story, many of my friends (both male and female) have had those conversations with the opposite gender that went from from “’Hi’ to ‘Would you like to come over and….'”

    After months of disappointment, many of my friends have now adopted my old-fashioned philosophy of “wait for God to do something.”

    If you are curious as to how it’s working out for all of us, we are enjoying the single life by going out dancing together as a group, trying new restaurants, and many of us have taken local and overseas vacations by ourselves.

    So, yeah, being single and waiting is better than most people believe it to be.

    By Andrew | 2 months ago Reply
  3. Hola jacinta me gustaria Charlar contigo y ser amigos que piensas

    By Hugo ramirez | 2 months ago Reply

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