Quitting Porn Doesn’t Have to Be Drudgery

Ending your daily binge on porn involves some major life changes, but quitting doesn’t have to be the drudgery you think it will be. Believe it or not, quitting will actually make you a better you!

Statistics show us that porn can mold us to be, well, a-not-so-nice-guy or gal. Shockingly, only half of daily porn users say porn featuring teens is wrong, even though it’s legally child pornography.[1] And regrettably, men with higher past exposure to violent pornography are six times more likely to report having raped someone compared to those who reported low exposure.[2] It’s rare that anyone in their right mind begins anything with the intention of hurting another person. But we hope you’ll seriously consider this grave consequence as you think about giving up porn.

When you quit porn and begin seeking to live a life of chastity, every passing day you’ll become more you again, or maybe even you for the first time! You will begin to have more and more interesting topics to talk about. You’ll grow to be more motivated. Without the burden of always feeling like you’re hiding something, you’ll gradually become more focused on others.

So, how do you do quit porn and grow in chastity? You might want to start by considering how to replace the time you spend consuming pornography. The Barna study, The Porn Phenomenon: The Impact of Pornography in the Digital Age found that, “among teens ages 13 to 17 (46%) and young adults ages 18 to 24 (42%), “boredom” is the second most common reason for seeking porn, behind “personal arousal,” which is the top reason among every age group.[3] Having ideas to fight boredom ahead of time keeps us from auto-piloting to our screens. Here’s a great place to start. Begin filling your time by:

  1. Attending Mass, Praying, and Studying Daily – God designed us for worship. Our calling is to know, love, and serve him. The best way to do this is by honoring God’s Sabbath, praying to him, and studying his Divine Word. There’s no better way to know, love, and serve God than to talk to him and worship at his altar. You may even wish to pray to God with the help of the Novena for Purity.
  2. Going on Adventures – Get out and experience something beyond yourself and your daily routine. Going on a weekly adventure will remind you that there is much more to life than instant gratification found in a click of a computer mouse. The world is an exciting and beautiful design to behold. Don’t let porn keep you from new tastes, sounds, sights, and so much more!
  3. Surrounding Yourself with Friends – Many people say they fall back into viewing pornography because they feel lonely or not supported. God made us to be in relationship with others. So, friendship and relationships are an important aspect of our lives, and a lot of times determine whether or not we’re able to kick porn and grow in chastity. If we don’t have others around us on a regular basis, how will we know we are loved and appreciated? Who will keep us accountable for our actions? We need friends to love, guide, and help us grow. This is why we at Covenant Eyes believe in the power of accountability. When someone else knows how you’re using the internet, it helps change your behavior. Our Internet Accountability monitors your online activity and reports it to a trusted friend you designate to provide you opportunity for ongoing conversations about using the internet with integrity.

There are many other ways to fill your time with virtuous and productive activity. Consider reading Covenant Eyes ebook Hobbies and Habits to learn how healthy hobbies and habits can help your break free from porn and grow in chastity. Get out there and become you! Again, quitting porn doesn’t need to be a drudgery. In fact, your life will become more exciting and fulfilling without it.

[1] Barna Group, The Porn Phenomenon: The Impact of Pornography In the Digital Age (Josh McDowell Ministry, 2016), 92.
[2] Ibid, 99.
[3] Ibid, 104.

_____________________ 

Amanda Zurface is the Catholic Campaign Coordinator for Covenant Eyes. Amanda holds a License and MA in Canon Law and a BA in Catholic Theology and Social Justice. Amanda has served in various roles within the Catholic Church both in the United States and internationally. She is the co-author of Equipped: Smart Catholic Parenting in a Sexualized Culture and Transformed by Beauty. She resides in Zanesville, Ohio, where she also serves as the Director of Faith Formation at Saint Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church.

 

4 Comments

  1. While Amanda’s suggestions are good and true, I would like to add a few of my own if I may. I will add 5.

    1. Go to Confession, weekly if you have to. If the priest you go to doesn’t have time to be a Spiritual Director to you then at least ask him if you can come back to him the same day each week.

    2. Get a Patron Saint to help you and get her prayer card. Now most guys will chose The Blessed Mother, but there are other ones too such as The Little Flower or St Maria Goretti or my personal favorite St Dymphna, who just so happens to be The Patron Saint of those suffering with mental illnesses and psychological problems.

    3. Go to bed and wake up early. I’m a natural night-owl, but I will tell you from past experience most of the sins I’ve committed have been in the evening after work. But, when I wake up early, I get a head start on the day and I feel I’ve accomplished more and sinned less.

    4. Actually talk to real women. I hate to break it to you, but unless you’ve got a lot of green, the wannabe amateur independent porn stars you find on social media aren’t going to talk to you no matter how cute your comments are.

    5. Be the alpha male God created you to be. Unless you are going for the title of Patron Saint of Video Game Players, you shouldn’t be staring at the black screen more than you have to. Do what Amanda says and go on an adventure. Girls like guys who are have adventures.

    Now I can’t finish this comment without adding a personal story of my own. I am 38 years old. On Easter, I asked a 33 year old woman who works at the restaurant next to the gas station I work at out on a date. After drilling me for a half an hour with all kinds of questions, she determined I didn’t meet her standards. Her biggest issue was my past problems with porn. So yes guys, women do have a problem with it. So the best advice I can give to you is you need to control it before it controls you.

    By Andrew | 8 months ago Reply
  2. Nice article. Cute even. My guess is that is was written by someone who has never been in total addiction to pornography. It reminds me of the quip, “just say no” to drugs.
    Quitting porn takes real courage and strength and determination. I am a recovered sex, lust, porn addict. I know how it feels to have your entire life sucked away by the overwhelming need to act out sexually. I understand the subtle, powerful, cunning nature of this addiction. I understand the seduction it poses and the pervasive scope of its presence.
    I stand here to scream at the top of my lungs that it can be overcome and you can break free but it won’t be by just lightly doing this or that. It is more closely akin to preparing for the marines. I suggest finding an experienced veteran who can guide and coach your every move until you yourself can lead others to victory.
    Thanks for the article..like you said, it is a great place to start.
    But there is soooo much more!

    By John | 8 months ago Reply
  3. Getting a good Priest who has done deliverance ministry in addition to weekly confession is a must. Also the book Unbound by Neal Lozano is a great resource for seeking deliverance from the demonic influence which takes place in pornographic additions.

    By Josh | 8 months ago Reply
  4. Getting a good Priest who has done deliverance ministry in addition to weekly confession is a must. Also the book Unbound by Neal Lozano is a great resource for seeking deliverance from demonic influence that takes place in pornographic additions.

    By Josh | 8 months ago Reply

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