Lately I’ve just been so happy. Happier than I think I’ve ever been. I’m single, and I’m happy. Two words that I thought would never go together. And it is amazing. It’s like I’m finally learning who I am instead of wasting time trying to become who someone else (other than God) might like me to be. It’s like I’m finally free—free from the bondage of wanting something so bad that I couldn’t let go even though I knew that holding on was causing me pain. I finally feel like I’m on the right path; the path where I step out into the murky water, relying on God to lead me to shore.
I never understood before how I could be happy and be single at the same time, but I finally figured it out. Although my relationship status is “single,” I cannot think of a time in my life when I have ever been completely alone. How can I possibly claim to be single when I have a loving family, faithful friends, and God who are always there for me? Being happy while being single doesn’t mean that you are happy that you haven’t found “the one.” Being happy while being single means being happy as you discover who you are and as you become the person you want to be for your future spouse. It’s about being happy that you have not settled for less than what you deserve and joyfully trusting that God is taking care of you and has a plan for you.
My life isn’t perfect—it never will be. I still have things to work through, things to pray about, and I still have some dreams to say goodbye to. Even now, I have nights where I feel an emptiness inside, like I’m still waiting for a missing a piece of me to come along and complete me. But I’m happy anyway. And that’s the greatest part. It’s more than some temporary happiness. It’s joy in my soul, laughter caught in my throat, and a smile waiting to split across my face. I wish everyone could feel this way. It’s a peace that tells me not to worry because my future is in God’s hands.
It’s not that I don’t think about men, or marriage, or having kids anymore—it’s just that I’m finally starting to understand that everything is going to work out. I want to get married and have babies more than anything (and maybe anyone) in the world, but if it is meant to be, it will happen. Maybe it will not be for another ten years, but that doesn’t mean that my life is on hold until then. It means that I have ten more years to prepare myself in order to be the best wife and mother I can be. It means ten more years of loving God and finding new ways to love Him.
In order for me to be happy with a husband and for a man to be happy with me, I need to first know how to be happy without him. What if he were to die? What if the “spark” started to die? What if he hurt me or angered me and needed my forgiveness? If he were my (original) source of happiness and love, disaster would be likely to follow. But I’m finally accepting what I’ve always known in my heart—God is the source of love. I’m finally starting to understand this truth.
The more time I spend with God and the more I learn about Him, the more I fall in love with Him. I am finally understanding that having a close relationship with God is the best foundation for starting a marriage. My heart is for God. If a man wants it, he can find it through Him. He will win my heart through loving God. And that’s the way it should be.
My hope for all of you who are single is that you too may experience this peace and joy that I have discovered through loving God and trusting Him.
Veronica Dannemiller is a Psychology major who plans to become a counselor for adolescents who need a little extra love. She dreams of one day opening her own counseling clinic, where she can bring color to the worlds of teens and children who are stuck seeing the world in black and white. In her free time, she writes books (that she neglects to finish), skim-reads for the good parts of novels, and tries to teach her dog that biting is bad. Her blog can be read at IFIBEME.