Hey Future Husband, I’m A Sinner. How Are You?

“Look at all these sinners.” My friend sent me that text earlier today as I stood in line for confession, attached was a picture he took of me standing in the line across from him waiting to enter the confessional. I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the text. It’s true, I am a terrible sinner—we all are.

Plot twist: being a good Christian is really, really hard—especially when it comes to chastity.

Have you ever written a letter to your future spouse? Maybe you were instructed to on a retreat or in a class, randomly got the urge to write as you wait to find out who he or she is, or you’ve heard of people doing so but think it’s weird. Well, for all of those reasons and more, last week I came across a smattering of old letters to my future someone.

The first was from a girls retreat, where I was told to write to my future husband about how I’m “saving” myself for him. I actually wrote that I don’t get what the big deal is, it’s not like it’s going to be hard to stay a virgin—but I guess I’m doing it for you and stuff so I hope you are too, or this is really awkward.

I couldn’t help but laugh at how naive I was. Staying pure as we are called to before marriage is anything but easy. In fact, meeting a virgin who intends to stay a virgin until marriage seems so very rare in our day and age.

I came across another letter, from a few years later in high school where I wrote something along the lines of: Okay, this is harder than I thought. I’m trying, but it’s not going so well. I hope you’re praying for me too.

And another: Dear future husband, I’m sorry I’m not as pure as I should be. I’m not the woman you deserve. I wish I could go back.

But there’s no going back. Once you begin pushing back the boundaries of purity, there’s always a reason to justify going just a little bit further until it’s too late. And don’t fool yourself like I’ve tried to: Being virgin-ish is not chastity at all.

I still want what I wanted as an awkward innocent middle school girl: I want to save myself for marriage. However, now I know that this is no easy task. Society thinks I’m crazy; Guys may think I’m a tease or a prude; Other girls may think I’ll never keep a guy that way; and I’m sure I’ll continue to be tempted by lust, desire, and misguided attraction.

I am weak. I give into temptations. I constantly fail to do good and choose to do bad.

But here’s the thing: We have a God who loves us anyway despite our sins and failings. No matter what mistakes may be in our past, He is here now, waiting to forgive us and help us to move forward to a better life in Him.

Each day we are offered the choice to try harder, fight temptations, and be better people in Christ. I continue the challenge of a chaste life, not just for me, but for my future spouse.

So to my dear future husband, this sinner is waiting and praying for you. I hope you are too

meganMegan Finegan recently graduated from Benedictine College with a double major in Psychology and Criminology. She graduated after studying abroad in Florence, Italy and being a Gregorian Fellows scholar. She loves shopping and the craze of cities, and is passionate about seeking to prevent injustice and help those victimized by it. She is currently working to publish her first book with her best friend Kaylin Koslosky as a way of spreading a much-needed message of love to her female peers.



  1. Absolutely Beautiful!! Thank you so much for writing this! Perfectly written and spoke right to my heart! Thank you! God Bless You!

    By Allie | 6 years ago Reply
  2. Thank you for these beautiful words of chatisty! They remembered us that love involves sacrifice and mortification. God bless you!!

    By Natália | 6 years ago Reply
  3. Great post! Needed to read this. Keep fighting the good fight!

    By Janique | 6 years ago Reply
  4. Wow, this was exactly what i needed to hear, thank you thank you thank you.

    By Nina | 6 years ago Reply
  5. Thank you so much for writing this, it was very inspiring. I too have written letters to my future husband and waiting. It gives me hope to read this and see how other women are also struggling with this it’s OK to be a sinner as long as we continue to try and follow Christ. God bless!

    By Paola | 6 years ago Reply
  6. Great! I really like the way you see the life, thank you for your writing, it really helps me..I am a men in chastity too and I am not afraid to tell this to everybody.

    By kevin Sambula | 6 years ago Reply

      By diana | 6 years ago Reply
  7. This is so beautiful. Thank you for writing it.

    By Andy | 6 years ago Reply
  8. Wow, I always marvel when other girls say they write letters to their future husband…
    I would like to try writing letters, but I just don’t know how.
    Hope I’ll be able to do this someday.

    By Mima | 6 years ago Reply
  9. “Guys may think I’m a tease or a prude” Prude used to be a compliment. Prude is short for prudence. And how is being up front about what you’re willing to do (or not do) being a tease? Sounds like a spoiled toddler throwing a fit because he’s not getting his way. Definitely not someone who’s mature enough to discern marriage with (the purpose of dating).

    “Other girls may think I’ll never keep a guy that way” Any guy who will dump you because you’re chaste isn’t a guy who’s worth your time. I think the media/culture puts far too much emphasis on needing to have a boyfriend or be in a relationship. It’s better to be single than to be in a bad relationship, but far too many people date because they’re afraid to be alone. Then they end up with a disease, on drugs, abortions, kids out of wedlock, and they knew it wasn’t a good match in the beginning, but dated/hooked up with that person because they didn’t want to be alone.

    By Stephanie | 6 years ago Reply
  10. Beautiful piece in there. What matters is how fast we move on. I’m feeling very encouraged by this article.

    By Patsy | 6 years ago Reply
  11. The best line: “Each day we are offered the choice to try harder, fight temptations, and be better people in Christ. ” each day we make a decision, we can make a new start, our bad choices don’t have to follow us around forever, it is never too late to make a change.

    By Tunde | 6 years ago Reply
  12. Would you mind if I translate your post into Vietnamese for my group? We have a vietnamese blog on chastity for young Vietnamese in Vietnam (https://duantrinhkhiet.wordpress.com/) it is all in Vietnamese, with the purpose to create a forum and get the youths to openly share and pray for one another. Thanks so much Megan 🙂 God bless you!

    By Quyen | 6 years ago Reply
  13. Thank you for sharing.

    By Kristine sally | 6 years ago Reply
  14. Good post, it reminds me a P. Tomas Morales Quote:
    “never get tired of being always beginning”

    Thanks and blessings

    By Jorge | 6 years ago Reply
  15. Your article is so inspiring. Thank you for reminding us how God loves us so much despite of the sins we made in the past. God bless you! 🙂

    By MJ | 6 years ago Reply
  16. thanks for writing! men want you to want this. its hard to say and do but keep trusting in Gods provision.

    By nathan | 6 years ago Reply
  17. I relate big time. So much self-hatred and sadness at how I failed to live up to those letters I once wrote. So much time feeling like it’s over, I’m done, it’s wasted, I’m worthless. That’s the voice of the Devil, not the voice of Christ. Thank you for sharing this.

    By Dan | 6 years ago Reply

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