A total stranger asked me where I got my weave. Flattered, sort of, but my “weave” actually grows directly from my scalp. I mean, sometimes airport security people pat down my head because they’re suspicious I’m hiding something in my hair, so I wasn’t that shocked by her question. I told her my [lazy] regimen after she asked for it and she shook her head, “Nope, that doesn’t work for me.” Listen lady, if I knew the one-size-fits-all formula for every type of mane, I’d be rich. There’s not one solitary formula that works for all the curly q’s out there. My curly-haired friends, ya’ feel? #frizzlife.
If this is the case for hair, then it’s even more the case for dating (Duh. We’re talking about two incredibly unique human beings… not something inanimate). There’s not a 10 step checklist that guarantees Mr. or Mrs. Right. The Buzzfeed that tells you otherwise could get you in trouble. The Church, in her wisdom, gives guidelines about chastity and proclaims the beauty of marriage, but then she takes a step back. She doesn’t demand how to feel at one point or when to drop the “L” word or how long you must date before engagement, etc. Why? Because we are each intricately crafted and original that it cannot all look the same!
I’ve wasted enough time comparing my life to others to know that comparison is not a good friend. OK, he is more like an enemy that I stupidly befriended and every day, often more than once, I have to kick him to the curb. Comparison is a liar that says “you’re not good enough.” If you listen to all the voices about who you should be or what your life should look like, you become deaf to the truth of who you are and what God has for you in that very moment. In getting rid of comparison, I’ve realized that I am enough. And it’s okay that my life looks different than others.
You are unrepeatable. And so is your love story.
There’s not a singular recipe for dating but there is a universal longing for authentic love. Jesus, the One whom we ultimately seek, is the common denominator. We cannot depend on a significant other to be our total satisfaction but rather a window to God’s love, a conduit of His grace, a reflection of His heart. To quote one of my all-time favorites, Les Miserables, “To love another person is to see the face of God.”
One of my friends, in recalling the beginning of her relationship with her now-husband, said, “Because of our relationship, I would often think ‘Wow, God loves me.’ There weren’t all these emotionally charged infatuated feelings that you see in the movies, it was better. It was joy and peace.” What we all want and what we’re created for is the joy of the Lord. Feelings are fleeting, but joy is constant. That joy comes directly from communion with Him, whether you are single, dating, or married.
Whatever state of life you are in, you’re not missing out. Love is being offered to you all day long, you must simply open up our hands to our Father and receive it.
Megan Mastroianni first began speaking in 2007. She has been featured as a speaker at World Youth Day 2011 in Madrid, on EWTN’s Life On the Rock, on retreats, conferences, assemblies, and rallies to high school and college students all over the country. Megan speaks for the Steubenville Youth Conferences as well as Diocesan Youth Conferences. She is now in her second year at Mount de Sales Academy in Baltimore serving as the Campus Minister. She is passionate about proclaiming the love of Christ and being His witness.