Why Today is the Day to Break Up with Your Boyfriend

I received many wonderful responses to my piece “When God Provides.” I got texts from old friends, girls I knew in high school, former students, and e-mails and messages from many other women. Some wrote with hopeful hearts, some with broken hearts, many had expectant and joyful hearts. Some wrote sharing they knew they were settling for less than they deserve. The overarching sentiment from all these women was this… “Thank you for reminding me that I deserve the best.”

So today I write to the young women settling for far from the best.

Life is too short to mince words here. I say this because I have a great love in my heart for you even though I may not know you. I say it because I want the best for every woman born to this earth. So yes… today is the day. The time is now. If you are settling for a relationship that is not good for you, today is the day that it comes to an end. Consider this your pep talk, a sign you have been waiting for, or some other form of courage… today is the day you must break up with your boyfriend.

I know well that relationships are tough work and they are never perfect. I also fully acknowledge that men are not the only ones who have the power to use another, belittle another, or infiltrate a relationship with negative actions and words. But today I speak only to you, the woman who knows it deep down—that the place you find yourself in is not right or good.

Perhaps you have already been mulling this over… maybe for a day, or a month, or a year. There is no need to over think it… you know well and deep in your heart if what you are involved in is good for you or not.

It is the duty of every man to uphold the dignity of every woman.

– St. John Paul II

A relationship with a good man does not make you feel used, dirty, stupid, or put-down. A relationship with a good man does not lead you away from God and a life of faith, make you cry yourself to sleep, fill you with shame or guilt, or make you feel ignored. A relationship with a good man does not make you feel empty or disposable.

A relationship with a good man makes you know that you are honored, strengthened, set apart, respected, and of great worth. A relationship with a good man helps you to see the face of Christ and move toward Christ. Settling for a boy or a man who makes you feel any of the former is a waste of your precious life.

“But I am in love with him…”

“But we have been together for so long…”

“I told him what I felt and I think he is really going to try to change…”

“I know in my heart you are right but I. just. can’t…”

Yes. You. Can.

Tell me a million reasons why you cannot let it go—I have heard them all. And to all of the reasons you can find, with all the love in my heart for you I want you to know this—love is not about a feeling. It is and always will be about sacrifice and the lifting up of another. Authentic love fortifies the other, magnifies God, and brings one deep peace and joy above all. Love is not about the amount of time you have been together, nor is love about breaking up and making up and jumping back in because this is what you know, this is what is comfortable. Relationships are not everything—you do not need a boyfriend to feel joyful, esteemed, or fulfilled. I want authentic love for you, and I know you desire the same. That is why today is the day.

Yes, ending a relationship is a scary thing. Be brave, be honest, be open, be respectful, and be bold. Life can look very different all of a sudden and your heart may very well break—but the dawn always comes after heartbreak if you press into the One who loves you endlessly. The Lord is indeed near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:19).  He is the One who will tell you by His death as many times as you need to hear it: “You are loved, wanted, precious, believed in, and of infinite worth. I have called you by name, and you are Mine.”

Stay in a relationship that is bad for you—and you may very well miss the man God wants to write into your story now, if that be His will for your life. Spend time settling and you throw away the time you could be using to prepare your heart for the man God created you to be with.

If you need personal encouragement, contact me. I will e-mail with you, talk to you on the phone, whatever it takes to help you take the step you know you must take. I want you to feel encouraged, loved, and supported in choosing what you know is best for you. Take heart and know that I am here cheering you on in choosing good for your heart and in your waiting and preparing for a good man. Because you—yes, you—deserve the absolute best.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the Lord your God goes with you. He will never leave or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6


emilywilson_avatar_1386644975-300x300-2Emily Wilson planned her whole life to become a sports reporter but ended up as a Catholic musician and speaker at the hand of God. She lives out of her suitcase and travels across the world speaking and singing with people of all ages. The heart of her ministry is offering encouragement to teen girls in their search for their true identity. “The world doesn’t need what women have, it needs what women are.” -St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross. You can visit her website and listen to her music at www.emwilsonmusic.com.


  1. Amazing message and beautifully written!

    By Ziba | 6 years ago Reply
  2. I’m so confused. I do not want to break up with my boyfriend because he makes me feel happy, loved, and empowered. He is more than just my boyfriend…he is my best friend. Why should I break up with him? Of course in the end, we might not end up getting married. But right now I have no desire to leave him at all.

    By Anna | 6 years ago Reply
    • Ana,
      You don’t have to break up with your boyfriend if he is a good man. That’s the point. No on knows for sure if they will get married with the man or woman they are dating. But if that’s were you would like it to go someday, you’re both on the same path in life, and he treats you with respect and love, there’s no reason to break up. You’ll know in your heart what’s up. The heart always knows. There’s always a gnawing little feeling when things are off. That’s what you have listen to. Pray and get the courage to act on your hearts warning. But if that’s not the case then you are on the right path. Don’t sweat it. May God continue to bless your relationship!

      By Maria | 6 years ago Reply
      • But my boyfriend has those attributes though his not born again, I asked him to change but as we know no one can change anyone unless they are willing, He said to me if I think his not good enough I can leave. Because I love God I decided to leave. I broke up with him after 6 months together and am hurting more than ever. Did i do the right thing or what?

        By Softy | 6 years ago Reply
    • Hi Anna! Cecelia gave a perfect response to your comment below. She is right on point.

      By Emily | 6 years ago Reply
    • “So today I write to the young women settling for far from the best.” Does that sound like you? If not, no need to worry. If so, you need to do some serious thinking: are you with him because it’s easiest or because of some “feeling” (remember, feelings change and can deceive people), or because you think he’s going to make a good husband? The longer you stay, the harder it will be to break up and the more time you will have wasted with the wrong guy when you could have been with the right guy.

      By Stephanie | 6 years ago Reply
      • I don’t know if I’ll get a response bc it’s been three years since the last one. But this post I think was of help for me. My boyfriend of a year and a half m, who I’ve known for four years broke up with me. I broke him I think I feel so guilty bc I made many mistakes that he just can’t forget he says even tho he forgave me. I want him so bad. Even tho I’ve felt that’s ive moved so far away from God bc I truly have. I am hurting so bad, I want to die. I want him. I dream of him and I getting married. I am hurting so much. how can I move past this pain bc I know that it’s whats best for us?

        By Moriah | 6 years ago Reply
    • I am a Lutheran and am very strong in the faith and very close with God. I have told my boyfriend that this is very serious for me and God should be the foundation of our relationship. His family is catholic but his family does not go to church. I have invited him to my church and he went a few times but other then that, we never talk about God. Everytime i bring it up, he always wants to change the subject. I finally told him that I am really looking for a man who is strong in the faith like I am. I have been with him for almost 3 years and so i dont know if I should end it or give him a chance to see if he will become serious about God. What should I do?

      By Rachel | 6 years ago Reply
  3. I think you completely missed the point here. Emily is trying to catch the attention of girls who are caught in unhealthy relationships, and trying to give them the courage to leave and find a healthier relation. If you are completely happy with you boyfriend and your relationship, by all means, continue it.

    By Cecelia | 6 years ago Reply
    • At the same time, what’s the point of a relationship if it isn’t leading to marriage? Once you know it’s not providing the right fruits for marriage, why lead your heart deeper into union with that person?

      By Michelle | 6 years ago Reply
      • I think all that Anna said was she doesn’t know yet if she will marry her boyfriend, not that she knows she won’t. Part of the point of the relationship is to determine whether or not someone is marriageable.

        By Derek | 6 years ago Reply
    • The article seems to affirm your point Cecelia, but the title clearly does not, and Anna’s comment is fair. The semantics of the title are what will lure people in, and the verb, “is” is much different than “might”. God, is “I AM” and anything that “is” is the state of reality. Rather, in the current form the title should be “might” not “is”, UNLESS it was something like, “if you are in a relationship that is NOT Christ-centered, today IS the day to let your significant other go”. Whether or not the title is meant to attract attention, it’s a bit deceitful to write it in the way it’s been fashioned. The title is poor, but the article is good.

      By J.P. | 6 years ago Reply
  4. Anna,
    Some believe that the purpose of romantic relationships is to figure out who you’re going to marry. I am happy you have someone in your life who makes you feel empowered, loved and happy. However, know that some hold the view that relationships are preparation for marriage. Of course you might not end up getting married, but is there the same possibility that you will end up getting married? Just a few questions and food for thought. May God bless your relationship and strength it in Him.

    By Lauren | 6 years ago Reply
  5. I know so many women who need to hear this. Thank you!!

    By Jonathan | 6 years ago Reply
  6. this is a beautiful reminder, thank you!!

    By Julianna Aguilar | 6 years ago Reply
  7. This was an amazing piece! Really made my day!

    By Clarissa | 6 years ago Reply
  8. Recently, I’ve been reading articles on how the Church is basically forgetting about men, and I believe it to be true. I read so many articles, videos and books on how women need to dump impure men, how women are basically the gatekeepers of chastity, how men can’t control themselves. Don’t get me wrong, I protect and deeply care about all the women in my life: my mother, my sisters and my girlfriend. Women are God’s most beautiful creation. But what about men? Where are the articles, books, and videos on how men can be more pure, on how men can protect the dignity of women, on how men can be more holy and manly? Has society forgotten that men are good? Men are created by God to be leaders, protectors, and spiritual soldiers. MEN ARE GOOD. I believe this forgotten essence of true catholic manhood by the Church has led so many men to become lost, confused, and abandoned. Men read all these articles solely directed toward women and believe me, some men think that only women can be pure. Some men think that they will forever be controlled by their desires and urges because “it is impossible for them to be pure.” It makes me sad. I mean, do some people not know that there are good catholic men out there who have had to say “no” to their girlfriends? I know men who strive for chastity and have had to set boundaries when their girlfriends want to go further. I believe there is a deep desire in almost all men to be a true and holy man. Some of us just do not know how. Men need examples, they need examples of true masculinity, they need a strong father or brother figure. The battle for purity is perhaps the biggest cross men will ever carry on this earth. And so I just want to say to every man reading this: You are good and you can be a saint. Please keep fighting the good fight. Do not give up. If you are lost, if you are confused, look to Jesus Christ. He is the ultimate and true Man. A tough, courageous, selfless man who just so happens to be your Savior.

    By Chris | 6 years ago Reply
    • Hi Chris! Thanks for writing.

      This article was a response to a piece I wrote that Jason published on The Chastity Project very recently called “When God Provides.” I’d invite you to read it. It was a piece I wrote celebrating the wonderful, good man God brought into my life and therefore intended to be a celebration and acknowledgement of all great men. I wrote it as the very thing you said..an article on how men are GOOD!! I wrote it also to encourage young women to see that there are amazing, holy, convicted men in the world – which led to this article today.

      Until you work closely with young women, you cannot see the devastating amount of young girls who are in relationships that aren’t good for them and don’t have the courage to go. I was intentionally careful to acknowledge that men are not the only party who can make a relationship a bad situation, but like I said – I was writing to the girls who wrote to me because that is where my heart is. I say the exact same thing to young men who approach me in relationships where girls are leading them down the wrong road. The response I have received from girls seeking help and advice to exit bad relationships has been overwhelming. I welcome the same communication from young men and encourage them to do the same thing I encourage the young women to do.

      By Emily | 6 years ago Reply
      • Hi Emily,

        I did read your blog “When God Provides” and it was great writing! I know my comment may have come across as offensive to you and I am very sorry. I am definitely not trying to insult your blogs. I guess the point I was trying to make was that I just wish more men stepped up to show other men who are lost how to properly love and protect a woman. That way, we can have less broken relationships that involve women who are hurt emotionally and physically. Men really do need to step up in today’s dating world! Thank you for sharing these blogs and I wish you the best as you continue your ministry! God Bless!

        By Chris | 6 years ago Reply
  9. By the way emily, I am definitely not trying to knock your blog. I think its ggreat! I just think men need to show men how to step up

    By Chris | 6 years ago Reply
  10. so i’m in a relationship with my best friend and I’ve been in one for two years and I love him and he is a gentleman and he has purest of intentions he is a faithful man of God frequently goes to mass and confession nowI am the other hand was faithful was a prayer warrior and I fell and I brought him down with me and we’ve both been trying to get back up again and we both have been trying so hard not to fall again and it’s so hard do I break up with my boyfriend who is a man of God who I’ve fallen with or is it possible to stay with him and continue fighting fighting for God fighting towards the goal which is to get to heaven he knows this as much if not more than I do and he loves me he constantly leads me to Jesus and I do the same but there are moments when we are both weak at the same time and I don’t know where we should go from here

    By Worth it | 6 years ago Reply
    • Maybe it’s time to get married?

      By Heidi | 6 years ago Reply
  11. I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago as he was very poor to me.

    man, I miss him and I truly wish I could get him back. hoping what you said is true about a dawn after a heartbreak, because my heart is truly, truly broken.

    By Deanna | 6 years ago Reply
    • Deanna,

      You did the right thing. Each day is a step in a right direction. Pray to God that He would heal your heart and show you your worth and the beauty that you have! I will keep you in my prayers.

      By Emily | 6 years ago Reply
  12. I broke up with my ex bf 5 months ago I know is for the best I know we weren’t heading anywhere he does not believe in God the way I do he didn’t support me at all so tell me why does it hurts and I still want to be close to him even if he does not bring nothing good to my life this is hard but thank you so much for this I really needed to heard this God bless you

    By Veronica | 6 years ago Reply
  13. Spot on Emily… Thank you for writing this

    By Silpa Paul | 6 years ago Reply
  14. I had a relationship where I had little to no control. My boyfriend didn’t see me as a human being but rather something to fulfill his “needs”. I remember how much I cried- over him and over my life’s direction. I remember the countless times I said I’d go anywhere with him knowing that I didn’t mean it because I was afraid of him. Thank The Lord that I got out of it. Now I have a light burden to carry and I can focus on what really matters. Thank you Emily for sharing this. God bless!

    By Mikaela | 6 years ago Reply
  15. Hi Emily. I’d love to personally chat with you

    By Caroline | 6 years ago Reply
  16. Hey i’m from Guatemala and my english grammar sucks jajaja I want and advice you know there’s a boy, I really like him because I found in him the grace of God, the problem is that he is protestant and I feel really sad because our religions

    By kari | 6 years ago Reply
    • I didnt finish… our religions are so different and I know that is Hard a relationship like this… you know if we get married the Last thing I carece is the respect to our belives, the thing I Will be scared is for our child… I think and think … and I don’t found a resolution… 🙁

      By kari | 6 years ago Reply
      • Hello Kari.
        I live in the US and my boyfriend is from Guatemala. And I have the same problem. He is a protestant,
        we are engaged but it is so hard to get our selves on the same direction. Kids is what I am worried about.
        Oración es la mejor solución!!
        Que Dios Te Bendiga.

        By Adelina | 6 years ago Reply
  17. I am not dating this guy, but I feel a huge attraction for him.Before I even started talking to him, I was really considering becoming a religious sister, but now I am confuse and don’t know exactly what to do? Like I’ll stop texting him for days and he will text, and I always reply to his texts. he will tell me he likes me and send me a few flirting texts then totally will crush my heart when he calls me sister Sofie on a text.And it’s a nonstop cycle of him being nice through texts and then to calling me a Religious sister. Wat should I do?

    By Sofie | 6 years ago Reply
    • Sofie, feel free to email me at emily@emwilsonmusic.com and we can talk further about your personal situation!

      By Emily | 6 years ago Reply
  18. My boyfriend and me have been together for a year this the longest relationship I’ve ever had. And I’m not exactly the most good looking girl out there so its hard for me to get a guy to be with me in the first place and he came to me first and as much I do love my boyfriend and all the things we have been through ; I just can’t help but feel I don’t feel the same about him anymore and I have tried breaking up with him but I hate hurting him and it hurts me more then I knew it would so we r still together and also he is going through a lot right now so I guess he has a reason for not treating me the same as he used to but I just don’t want to hurt anymore I’m tired of crying over him …… What do I do?

    By Bethanie | 6 years ago Reply
    • Bethanie,
      Email me at emily@emwilsonmusic.com if you want to talk personally about your situation! I am happy to help.

      By Emily | 6 years ago Reply
  19. So, I have this friend who is a Christian. But she goes around with like a lot of guys….she doesn’t date them. Just like makes out with them….And then feels really bad about it later. I don’t really know how to tell her, she deserves more, then the way she let guys treat her…
    Please help!

    By Jen | 6 years ago Reply
  20. Hello,
    I just broke up with my boyfriend today. We’ve been together for 6 years and I have been paying the full rent and all bills by myself with exception of the car note, his cell phone bill, and his car insurance. We have a handsome 2 yr old son, and I have talked to my ex about finding a better job now since our son was born. If anything were to ever happen to me I want him to be able to take care of our son! Today I told him I was unhappy and not just due to the fact that he can’t provide….when he does have money the first thing he wants to do is go smoke. He ignores me…the only time he actually stays awake is when he is playing video games. He got super upset and began cursing me out and punching walls and I have warned him several times about disrespecting me in front of our son and he obviously does not care. He is just way too comfortable with the fact that I make good money and have been able to do things on my own since he met me. He does not understand where I am coming from at all, and I can’t atop crying. I miss him but he is not a good man and I know he isn’t a good fit for me. Nor would he be willing to try and change for me bcuz he sees nothing wrong with what he is currently doing.

    By Krystal | 6 years ago Reply
  21. I broke up with my boyfriend of six months just yesterday. It was difficult, but it wasn’t nearly as hard or gut-wrenchingly emotional as when I broke up with my ex-fiance a few years ago. He and I were together for 5 years and we were on our way to getting married. After that experience I have this to say: ladies – listen to your inner voice. I knew all along that man wasn’t right for me and I wasn’t happy. I secretly wept in the bathroom on the evening of his proposal, too afraid to say no but knowing full well I wasn’t in love with him. I was miserable, I was scared, I was in denial. Fortunately, I had a wake up call one day. I was up at school in Vermont (for a week) and realized what I had to do. I drove 6 hours home to NJ without stopping. In shock, mind racing with all the “what am I going to do now scenarios”. It is hard to tell someone you are not in love with them. But it is harder living a lie, it hurts you, it hurts them. Be honest with yourself. That was by far one of the most difficult situations I’ve faced in my life but after that, I found myself again. It was scary getting into a relationship again (two years passed before this happened) but I decided to have trust and I knew deep in my heart if it didn’t work out, that was ok. I know I am a strong, honest person and I’m no longer afraid. Do it for yourself. You won’t be sorry.

    By Victoria Pitt | 6 years ago Reply
  22. I have been unhappy in my relationship for several months now but could never work up the courage to break it off. It is now September and we go to the same college and we just moved in together today. We have been together for 4 years now but I find myself getting more miserable every day but now I have am overwhelming sense of guilt because we are now an hour and a half away from home and I am living with him and my brother. I could really use some advice

    By Bekki | 6 years ago Reply
  23. Hey there, glad i came across your article.
    This past week i have been struggling with my relationship with my boyfriend. Hes a great guy, very respectful, and i know loves me more than i love him. He is a church goer and is currently working on improving his relationship with God. i just started college about a month ago, hes always working, so we probably see eachother once a week, and we barely have time to talk throughout the day. I got to college and noticed HOW MANY PEOPLE THERE ARE. It made me start thinking if its the right time to start dating. It made me start thinking if im with this person to prove others wrong, that i do actually like him. I feel like i have to prove myself that i do like him, i feel like im forcing myself. it wasnt like this before, i really liked him, i love him but im not head over heels for him, i hate being this way. He lacks many attributes that i seek in a guy. He is kinda immarture, and he annoys me when hes with other people, he likes hanging out with kids 4 years younger than him. I Seriously do not know what to do…

    By Samantha | 6 years ago Reply
  24. My boyfriend and I just broke up yesterday. We have been trying to make things work for the past month, but it just has not been coming together. When we are together, just the 2 of us, we have such a fun time together, whether its killing the ant piles in his yard to making a bowl of ramen. It is all just a good time and all simple things. Going into this relationship, we had our focus on marriage. From our first date we discussed it and all our morals/ ways of life pointed to us getting married. Our only problem was that he was so busy with school and a leadership position, that he would not plan hang outs a lot. Also in public, he became very self conscious about showing me any affection. This upset me constantly. Yesterday he broke up with me because he told me I deserve better, someone who would do those things. I agree to an extent, but I do not want to break up. I miss him very much because before we were dating, we had been friends for 7 months. He is a great great man of God. Always giving, being humble, always helping others, living poor so he can spend his money on others or donate, going to mass and confession and much more. I can see myself marrying him. Our relationship didn’t end badly, mid crying we looked up at each other and smiled and laughed a bit! He says he is at peace to be broken up but I still have a million questions in my mind to discuss with him. Should I ask him? Should we keep trying to make it work? Do you think he could put down his work-aholic nature and commit to me? Is it not the right time? How are our chances about being together later loo? SHould just give up all together and just let it be? please help!

    By Sarah | 6 years ago Reply
  25. Hello, Ive been looking into chastity and such due to the fact that I am strongly rooted in my faith and I want a God centered relationship. My boyfriend is non denominational. He believes in God and we can see eye to eye on chastity and how we think it should wait for marriage but we have been failing miserably. I know how we can fix it I think… But can you fix a relationship that has been impure and change it into something God would approve of? I do not have plans to break up with him but I really need to turn my life a round and get back to God. I want to bring my boyfriend with me though. I just dont know what to do.

    By Nicole | 6 years ago Reply
  26. How can I contact you on the phone. I need help.

    By Andrea | 6 years ago Reply
  27. Wow. Thank u so much. I needed this encouragement into my life. I wish I read this years ago and now I feel that my world is coming into an end

    By Susie | 6 years ago Reply
  28. Just read this article

    I broke up with my atheist boyfriend of 6 months
    He had wanted to marry me, and I also seriously considered him
    it was after much heart ache and sorrow, when I realized it was hard to reciprocate the ‘I love yous’ he said, that I realized it wasn’t going to work.

    To fellow sisters reading through and scouring the deep ends of the internet for information in regards to your current predicament, I’d say listen to what you know is right, break up.
    You’re looking for something, some essay, some stories that work in your favor on how this relationship with a non-believer in the Spirit of God would work out, how you’d finally find your happily ever after.

    The way God loves, he loves without discrimination, and we are called to follow in Jesus’s foot steps. How do you really understand the love of a secular man who claims to love you, but you understand that when he says that, it is in a possessive way, that you are his. This is romantic, I understand, but think a little deeper.
    Will he ever come to the understanding that you belong to God first and foremost, and that every being on Earth deserves love and grace?
    Does he have it in his heart to forgive his past trespasses?
    Forget the number of years you’ve spent with this person (if you’re not married, that is, there are articles that counsel relationships in that area) Do you, or do you not believe in eternal life?

    4 years?8? How is that even comparable to infinity? What does eternal mean to you?

    It is painful, no doubt. I’ve been crying constantly these few days, and I have very strong urges to run to my ex boyfriend, into his arms and feel his warmth.
    He is such a beautiful person, but there are fundamental differences to our worldviews, and in the long run, it isn’t going to work out.

    Take courage my sisters.
    Yes we fear, giving complete reign to God, and we doubt him.
    We doubt whether he’ll show us the road to happiness.

    On that sentence, what is happiness?

    Is it really kisses, nights of passionate romance, and desperate clinging onto mortality, or is it surrendering in his grace?

    I pray for anyone who stumbles onto this post, I hope you make the right decision, not the decision that just ‘feels good’.

    God bless and Godspeed

    By Georgia | 6 years ago Reply
    • Nothing compares to infinity with God. Thank you for this comment. Broke up with someone, he treated me badly and took me for granted. Yet I wanted to make it work. He didn’t. When I told him that I loved him and that it was all in his hands. He replied that our relationship was over and that I shouldn’t add more in a cruel way. It stung. But now i feel happier and at peace with God.

      By tid | 6 years ago Reply
  29. Hi, I’m in a difficult situation. I’m 17 and have been dating a guy for a little over a year now. I do have feelings for him but lately those feelings have not felt right. I almost feel as if God is trying to tell me something. I’m a Catholic and I go to church and he is Catholic as well but does not go to church. He has cancer right now and I feel like sometimes he blames God for it. He tells me that he will go to church once he finishes his chemo, he once said he feels like he will do it as a “trade”, that if God cures him he will go back to church and be a good Christian that he should be. Otherwise, I cannot convince him to go nor does he want to. He wants to “start fresh” when He is finished. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging him for not going but what I look for in a man is a strong faith and love for God. I don’t know what to do, sometimes I feel as if i am only staying because I feel like I need to be by his side throughout the cancer. At the same time, I think he might be dragging me down, wanting the more intimate things with me more than the important things like caring about my soul and a relationship with God. I do love him, I am just stuck. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks

    By Megan | 6 years ago Reply
  30. I am certain that my boyfriend is just undergoing depression. However, I am praying to God to reveal to me what I have to do

    By Abby | 6 years ago Reply
  31. Hi Emily. I just read this and it touched my broken soul. Yesterday I broke up with my boyfriend after 2 years and it was the hardest thing I’ve done. We were close to engagement , which makes things difficult. The reason I broke it off is because he was manipulative in daily life, and never respected his mom, sisters, other women, and at times, even me. He never physically or emotionally abused me, but he did things that hurt me and question his love for me, like chatting other girls online when I was gone for the evening. He also battles porn regularly and only is honest about it when I confront him. He also worshipped me more then God. I was his idol, and I came first in his life. He didnt seem to have a real zest for God. He also tryed to manipulate the situation and justify going further physically, which I fell for sadly . The thing is that we are compatible in every other way. He knows me inside and out. He is tender and loving and still treats me well. Which was why I was hesitant to break it off. I am having feelings of regret. I feel like I would rather go back to him and deal with those things then not marry anybody ! I’m just hurt and confused. I’m not sure if the issues I had with him were deal breakers. Any insite would help so much. I’m lost , and I don’t know how to get through this.
    Thankyou for writing this article , God bless you in your work , Alysha

    By Alysha | 6 years ago Reply
  32. I, also have the same problem i dated a man for 2 yrs but it was a long distance relationship. And we broke up because he was cheating on me.And i also find out that everything about us was a lie because he cheated me with so many girls and he is a drunkard but at first he told he doesn’t drink.So after some months he told me he wants me back and i refused because i know he is not a right guy for me but the problem is i don’t know how to let him go.Because even though we broke up but we still communicate but mostly am the one calling or texting him because for me its hard to leave without toking to him.so i want God to help to let him go because its tormenting my life a lot…..Thank you.

    By salome | 6 years ago Reply
  33. I am so indecisive and cannot tell what Gods will is for me in this relationship. I have been with this boy for 6 six years, since sophomore year of high school. So there was a lot of important growing stages that we did together. That makes me wonder if I wouldn’t of been with him would I have grown differently? I really get confused on whether or not I am hearing Gods voice on this relationship. I have grown tremendously in my faith this past year and I want a man who is on fire for Christ and will share that with me and act it out into his/our everyday life. He could not treat me any better than he does now, he is respectful, caring, understanding and always loving. He is amazing. But, is that just perfection in the worldly sense? As Christians, we are not here for ourselves, the purpose of our lives is what Christ has chosen for us. I want to be obedient to God in this relationship but I also don’t want to miss what He is telling me if I’m not meant to be with my boyfriend. I fall to the temptation of a lot of worldly things when I am with my boyfriend, especially physically. Sometimes it is like I am a completely different person when I am with him, not because of his actiona but because of my own? I’m just so lost and ultimately I want to please God but I cannot discern what that means and what I am to do. Thank you so much for care and concern to help young woman going through relationship uncertainty. I appreciate any and all help so incredibly much.

    By Brooke | 6 years ago Reply
  34. I’ve been with my boyfriend for awhile . He treats me very good and is always there for me. I recently became drawn to Christ and stop being a stripper. We have a business together. Evey time I try and explain why I won’t go back to stripping. He keeps saying he understands, yet hints that I’m just taking a break. He works it’s not that e doesn’t. I’ve told him multiple times I want to break up with him and he says that’s not an option I wanna marry u.
    He is greAt in all ways but I feel that he will lead me away from Christ. He is an unbeliever. Idk what to do

    By PJ | 6 years ago Reply
  35. This exactly describes me. I’ve been thinking about it for months and finally got the courage. This pep talk helped so much, Thank you.

    By L | 6 years ago Reply
  36. I was with this guy for 6 months and it was great. However I came to a realization that I don’t see a future with this guy. He lacks traits I seek in a man. God knows what I want and this is his way of telling me to end this relationship which I did. I feel bad because I don’t want god to think I wasted this guys time. But I didn’t want to pretend anymore. I want this guy to be happy. And that’s love that I have for him as a friend. So I will continue to ask God to help me for my deepest desires of happiness even if that means waiting years.

    By Zilla | 6 years ago Reply
  37. Please email me…
    I just went through a breakup. I thought I was building something strong and long lasting with my ex. He has become a part of my everyday life. I miss him so much. Now we cant even be friends (yet?). I am confused how something I felt to be so real and sure and even normal and expected is now gone in an instant.

    By Maxine | 6 years ago Reply
    • We were never official but dated for almost a year. He was the first guy I ever felt sure of. He says he thinks he is not mature enough to be in a relationship. Towards the end, he started being distant. Ive always had a gut feeling that he was not good for me. But I love him so much that I saw his imperfections as opportunities for me to truly love him. And I did. We decided to end things because we both agreed that we did not want a “halfway” relationship anymore. Now I am confused if I wasted my time on him. I also blame myself. I wonder if I did something wrong or if there is something wrong with me that made him uncertain if he wants a relatioship with me especially since he came in really strong in the beginning.

      By Maxine | 6 years ago Reply
  38. Is this article still active? Ahh!
    I have an important question… I have a wonderful boyfriend. We have been together for almost a whole year and we are in a healthy and happy relationship. However, I feel like I have been getting a tug in my heart that I need to move on and that I shouldnt be with him right now. He has only been going to church for about 4 months now and just started reading the Bible with me. He believes in God but isnt a full-devoted Christian. He doesnt know much but he’s willing to learn and im teaching him right now.. However, he has always prayed to God. My question is.. does God tell people to break up? I dont know if this is God calling to me.. I dont get it. Our relationship is the best its been and has been healthy for all the time that I was with him. we have great connection and everything is great other than that I feel a tug at my heart. I dont want to end it with someone i love so dearly and someone i get along with so well. please help.. thank you <3

    By Jane | 6 years ago Reply
  39. Hello I am in 6 1/2 years of relationship and I am not very happy person with him. I do not know how to have courage to break him off. I’m tired of supporting him while he not really supporting me I need big huge help! I am afraid to be alone!! Hate it.

    By Karen | 6 years ago Reply
  40. Can you help me.. I want my boyfriend to know God.

    By B | 6 years ago Reply
  41. Hi, I am with a good man who is faithful to God, encourages me in my walk of faith and to know God more, even amidst the recent sudden loss of my father. However, there is a deep fear that I may lose him someday, to death or betrayal etc – who knows what will happen in the future, right? And there is a fear that God may want to use me more as a single unmarried person, though I am in a relationship because I know I have desire for physical intimacy and not gifted for celibacy. Should fear and uncertainty be a good reason to walk away, even for a while?

    By JC | 6 years ago Reply
  42. ive been so anxious confused sad depressed on what shld i do, i know in my mind that i am not getting the things that i deserve but i know in my heart that i somewhat understand his reason and i know people can change, i dnt know what to do, i dont wanna regret anything pls help

    By yoga | 6 years ago Reply
  43. With tears streaming down my face, I know today is the day I need to say goodbye to eight years. Thank you for this.

    By Tara | 6 years ago Reply
  44. Hi Emily,

    I just want to say thank you so much for writing this. I felt like it was God speaking to me while reading it. I am in desperate need of your advice, please email me back so I can tell you about my situation,
    It is much appreciated
    Thank you

    By Alanna | 6 years ago Reply
  45. Please e-mail me and I may or may nothave courage to relate my testimony, hitherto not shared, but a burden since I found T.O.B. in 2005. I remember your first testimony and I know in my heart how beautiful you are and how appreciated you are by Jason in the Authentic way.
    Love and Blessings,

    By Pat | 6 years ago Reply
  46. My boy friend and I have been together for nearly 5 Years. But it’s a toxic relationship. And I think he has narcisstic traits. I am thinking of breaking up with him. We are long disntace for one year now. And he wants me to move where he is without engagement and then we will get engaged once I move there and we live together for a while he said. But I had said to him I am only moving with engagement.
    At the moment he got mad at me for something and I have messaged him a week ago saying let me know when you’re ready to talk and he had an attitude towards me and he was seemingly still mad at me. We haven’t spoken on the phone for a month now. And he hasn’t contacted me neither have I. I am usually the one to reach out . This is a pattern that keeps happening

    By Steph | 6 years ago Reply
  47. Hey Ana! I’ve been with my boyfriend going on 2 years I felt lik the spark was gone and I told him things I would like for a change and he said okay and he actually changed! But thing is He doesnt have That fear or love for God among many other things and my heart is not into it, God gave me a sign 2 times! He warned me about his anger and I ignored it in the beggining he actually changed but now it doesnt matter to me. How do I follow God and do what he needs for me to do and leave, I will feel good one day then the next day feel that guy feeling it knaws at me I cant sleep it is like I know something is off but cant pin point it or give him a valid reason, how do I have the strength to leave and after that how do I heal? Becuase ir is really painful for me to leave him because I love him so much

    By Janee Coleman | 6 years ago Reply
  48. I need help doing this and sticking with it asap

    By Amanda | 6 years ago Reply
  49. I AM IN A 17 YEAR RELATIONSHIP with a man I think I settled for. He is a good man but never shows me any attention, when I’m in a good space 30 sec with him and its gone. I am not young I am 75 years old but work 50 hrs a week and feel 40.
    Recently I received on facebook a friend request and I accepted. He is still in the service and will retire in a year. He is so sweet, he does not need money, I’m not that stupid. I don’t know how to let go of Bob without hurting his feelings. we live together and I don’t know where he would go. He doesn’t support me on any level financially, emotionally or spiritually. I’M STUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

    By CAROL SUTLIFF | 6 years ago Reply
  50. Hey, Jaclyn here !

    So I would like to ask for your advice regarding this. So actually my sister has been struggling in her relationship for the past few weeks. God did spoke to her that He has a greater blessing for her but she is stopping it from coming. She has been dating the guy for a few months and this is the guy’s first relationship and he’s not a believer. So she actually told the guy that she is thinking of breaking up but the guy insist and didn’t want to. She was thinking whether she should break up now or break up later as she will be sitting for her major public exam in November and if she were to break up now, it is gonna affect her a lot. One of her Friend was telling her that she should break up after her exam so that she can focus on her studies right now and not think too much about it or else it will affect her studies. And it’s also quite hard to tell him about God because he’s not a believer. Hope to hear from you soon . Thank you.

    By Jaclyn | 6 years ago Reply
  51. I was in a “relationship” with this guy. I put quotations because I always told myself we were friends, even though we were clearly more than friends. He was and still is amazing. We’re both Christians, for all our lives. However, I am trying to get closer to God because I felt I was being a Christian religiously and not for the personal relationship. So I’m like a spiritual baby. I’m starting my sophomore year of college btw. And I met this guy in January and honestly, at this point I really do love him. However, since January, I have cut it off several times only to start it back up again. So I’ve been wish washy basically. So recently, I cut it off and insisted that we just be friends. I’m hurting and I know he’s hurting. But I don’t know if I made the right decision. One part of me feels like if it’s meant to be, God will bring us back together. But another part of me is like I love this guy, so why did God even allow us to cross paths if He didn’t want us together? Sooooooo I am so confused right now. Of course, I won’t go back to him and I’ll just stay friends because I don’t want to put him through that. But being a spiritual baby, it’s really hard to see what the bigger picture is and why God would allow something like this to happen. So a little encouragement/advice would be really nice right now!

    By Chinwe | 6 years ago Reply
  52. Dear Emily Wilson,

    I just read your blog post, “Why Today is the day to break up with your boyfriend”. I really love your blog and it touched my heart. I was crying a little after I read the blog. I wanted to ask you about my boyfriend because he’s been getting in a lot of trouble like; Sneaking out of his house to come to mine, he stole $2000 from his mom to play video games, according to his mom. My dad thinks it was cocaine because recently he tested positive. One time when my boyfriend was sneaking out of his house, he was grazed by a car. The person in the car called the cops, when the cops showed up. My boyfriend got scared so he was riding his bike away from the cops and after that his bike wasn’t cooperating with him, so he throws his bike at a cop. One day he stole his mom’s car because he found out that I tried to kill myself one time because I was so depressed about love/relationships. He does buy me gifts and gives me love letters they are so sweet I cried. He always says that I’m the love of his life and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but I don’t know what to do. I need help he does love me, and I love him but he’s always getting in trouble and it’s hurting me inside and he knows that it’s hurting me. He always says that he’ll stop but it still goes on and on. I just wish that he’ll change but that might not happen. When I do break up with my boyfriend it’ll hurt me bad and my heart will break into millions of pieces. I’m hurting right now from this whole situation. I really need your help. Can you please help me? I really need your advice about this whole thing. Please write back.

    Elizabeth Hunley

    By Elizabeth Hunley | 6 years ago Reply

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