Say Yes To Sex

In its proper context, God loves sex. He could have gone with the stork or the cabbage patch, as procreative means, but God had other plans. Often times it seems that the topic of chastity can be summed up as: “no!” In fact, chastity at its core is all about “yes! By trusting Christ and following His plan, we discover what the devil is trying to hide.

Consider This Example:

Most blow dryers come with a tag that states, “do not use under water.” Why, you ask? Apparently enough multi-taskers out there thought they could wash and dry at the same time. The manufacturers were then obligated to inform everyone that this is a very bad plan. Does anyone become angry with the blow dryer people? Do you throw up your hands in anger proclaiming, “Who are they to tell me how to use my blow dryer?” Of course not! They have only provided you with this guideline because they made the blow dryer, and they have insight into how it works. I am sure you are free to use it in the shower if you would like, but the creators would like to warn you that it won’t be a happy ending. Perhaps your Creator desires to advise you in the way you use His masterpiece. This isn’t just to prevent disaster, but also so you can use it to glorify Him.

That’s because marital sex is sacramental:

That’s right; I just put the words “sex” and “sacrament” in the same sentence. One way of understanding a Sacrament is to think of it as an outward sign of an inward grace. God gave us the Sacraments so that we wouldn’t miss the extraordinary things that He wants to do in our lives! It is a way that we get to see, hear, feel, and experience a supernatural reality that is happening within the depths of our souls. In the Sacraments we are given a chance to physically witness a greater spiritual reality. The sexual act within the context of marriage can also be thought of as a visible sign of an invisible reality. It is meant to make us holier in order for us to use our bodies to give glory to God. This means that sexual intercourse is a moment where a couple receives grace! In marriage we can be sanctified through sexual union!

In the sexual act of marriage, God joins with His creation in order to create:

It is in the sexual act that we become co-creators with God. Stop and think about that for a moment. Mind.Blown. We can glimpse into the mystery of the Trinity by looking at the structure of the family. In the Trinity, God is revealed as an eternal communion of life-giving love. In marriage this gift of self is expressed on a human level in the union of a married couple. Sex was created as an outward manifestation of an inward reality: Love. The potential of this exchange is so powerful that nine months later, you give it a name. No, God didn’t choose the stork; He decided instead to involve us in His creative power.

Now, if you were the devil, where would you focus your most strategic attack on mankind?

The devil has succeeded in making sex seem so casual, yet simultaneously making us believe that it is dirty. The average person probably has no idea that there is anything holy about it!

If sexuality is meant to unite us to God by way of the family, then Satan certainly believes in making a great effort to distort this reality. Imagine that God’s plan for love and marriage is like an amazing feast. The Lord is diligently preparing this banquet for you and can’t wait to usher you in as soon as He is ready! On the other hand, the devil tries to dissuade you from waiting by enticing you to feast on the raw meat. We have the freedom to wait for what is to come or settle for the quick and easy. God has incredible plans for you, the question is: will you say yes?

katieKatie Hartfiel is an author and speaker dedicated to sharing the intense love of God. She graduated Franciscan University of Steubenville, where she received a degree in Theology. She served as a youth minister for seven years in Houston, where she now resides with her husband, Mark, and two daughters. In 2012, Katie released her first book, Woman in Love (available at




  1. Wonderful article!

    By Jerry | 7 years ago Reply
  2. Great article thanks!

    By Sergio Flores | 7 years ago Reply
  3. Wow! This has further opened my eyes. I am always studying on this topic and this article has cleared up so much confusion I had.

    By Colleen | 7 years ago Reply
  4. Beautiful piece. Well stated. God and us. Not people being used.
    Thank you. God loves us.

    By claudia zelaya | 7 years ago Reply
  5. Absolutely lovely and well-written! Thank you for being so clear! Praying this helps many people look inside their hearts to see who they are through God’s eyes. God bless, Katie!

    By Sarah | 7 years ago Reply
  6. This is a wonderful piece! These attitudes are so prevalent that someone in my RCIA class was insisting to our instructor that you must sin to have a child. I hope that more people realize what a beautiful plan God has for us in our marriages.

    By Brynne | 7 years ago Reply
  7. Thanks for the well-written article. Reminded me that I shouldn’t get drawn into all the confusing messages ‘out-there’ that portray sex as a means to an end – selfish pleasure. It definitely is an act of faith to trust in the Lord and His plan.

    By LP | 7 years ago Reply
  8. I loved this article but what I stuggle with is knowing where the line is and what is actually considered sex

    By Kaylee | 7 years ago Reply
    • “Making out,” foreplay, pornography, and anything that is a prelude to sex (even entertaining thoughts about sex for that matter) may not be actual sex, but it doesn’t mean they are not sins. These are sins against purity.

      By Blaise | 7 years ago Reply
      • Where is that quote from Blaise? I have a little skepticism about it (mostly just the “making out” part) I’m not disagreeing with you, I would only like to look into it a little deeper.

        By Thomas | 7 years ago Reply
    • Kaylee, I think the better question is not “where is the line” or “how far can I go before this is sinful” but “how can I protect my boyfriend/girlfriend from sinning”.

      God Bless


      By Adam | 7 years ago Reply
  9. Good piece,there!

    By Banleman | 7 years ago Reply
  10. This is a great article. wow.. very profound

    By Angela | 7 years ago Reply
  11. Can I still be able to enjoy the sanctity of sex even though I’ve diverged in it before marriage but stop and wait until I get married?
    Will God forgive me and accept me again?

    By JMichelle | 7 years ago Reply
    • Yes.
      Christ is waiting for you in the confessional. Go to confession.
      God bless you.

      By Frances | 7 years ago Reply
    • Absolutely! Confession is a wonderful sacrament and healing always comes after asking for forgiveness no matter how grave the sin 🙂 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” – 2 Corinthians 5:17.

      By Alisha | 7 years ago Reply
  12. Excellent Information. If you don’t find true love in your partner you cannot proceed for sex. A Good Understanding & trust also stand before this. It is pure and absolutely natural. It is only when there is a feeling of oneness.

    By Greg D’Cunha/ Doha | 7 years ago Reply
  13. Praise God!

    By Eric | 7 years ago Reply
  14. Wonderfully written (: Thank you

    By Ella | 7 years ago Reply
  15. An eye opener…

    By Rina | 7 years ago Reply
  16. It is my deepest concern that people believe that waiting until marriage is a necessity to experience the divine within it. When it is in fact not necessary and in many cases actually more harmful than good.

    By Jonathan | 7 years ago Reply

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