Why We Want More than Birth Control

Our generation has heard all about the joys of contraception. We no longer need to worry about unexpected pregnancies.  We can make sure to form our families according to plan. Not to mention, the Pill can help with cramps and even acne!

When I was 17 years old and preparing to go away for college, my doctor asked my mom to leave the room to ask me some confidential questions.

“Now, you have to realize that going to college brings with it a lot of changes, you’ll be discovering more and engaging in new relationships. It would be very smart to go on the birth control pill now, just in case. Would you like me to write you a prescription?”

As I heard these words from my doctor, it struck me how often we hear birth control as the answer to so many things…

*How do we fix the teen pregnancy rate?  More birth control!

*How do we lower the number of abortions?  More birth control!

*How do we enjoy sex even if we aren’t ready to commit to marriage? You guessed it… more birth control!

… But what if contraception isn’t what we were looking for in the first place?

I propose this, instead….

Our generation is not looking for more birth control. No—We want MORE THAN birth control.

Here are 3 reasons why we desire more than the empty promises that we are fed by our doctors, the media, our friends, and even our families-

1. Contraception steals our ability to love the way that God loves.

God intended the love between husband and wife to mirror God’s love for humankind (See why in Marriage Can Wait).

When God loved, He created. In the beginning, He loved, and so He created the heavens and the earth. He loved, and so He created human beings in His image.

Love cannot stay wound up within a person, but must be expressed outwardly.

In a sexual relationship, this love flows outward by the possibility of giving LIFE to another human being! When we turn to contraceptives, we turn our backs on the ability that God gave us to participate His creative love.

2.  Contraception blinds us to commitment.

When asked how long a couple should be together before having sex, Cosmopolitan UK said “even 3 minutes can be long enough if the time is right.” Why is it that we have accepted this separation between sex and a committed relationship? Simply put, birth control makes it easy to seek the pleasure of sex outside of the union of marriage which fosters long-term commitment necessary for raising children.

If that’s the case, it’s no wonder that it’s become so common for couples to live together without plans to marry.

But is that what we really want? When we let someone know the most intimate parts of ourselves, when we let them come so close as to become one flesh with them, don’t we want the assurance that they will love us not just when things are fun and happy, but also through the rough moments of life—“through sickness and health, in good times and bad, in joy and in sorrow?”

3.  Birth control is bad for a woman’s body.

Did you know that birth control is a class 1 carcinogen? That it increases risks of breast cancer, especially when taken at a young age? For a more in depth look at what birth control can do to your body see this comprehensive list of side effects & adverse effects listed for one of the most common forms of oral contraceptives. 

To my dear sisters… Our bodies deserve better than this and it’s time we stop treating our fertility as a disease. That’s why natural family planning techniques are much kinder to a woman’s body when seeking to wait to have children.

In our Introduction: Longing for Love blog we discussed how authentic, pure love is what our hearts were created for.

Birth control gives us an easy answer; a chance for pleasure without price.

But I want more than that.

I want the real deal.

I want a love that is not afraid of commitment.

I want a love that reflects the perfect, infinite love poured out by Jesus on the cross. 

Ladies, let’s not settle for less!

Praying for y’all!


JulieMPhoto.jpgJulie Martin is a disciple of Jesus Christ, and a Management major with Math & Italian minors at SMU (Dallas, TX). You’ll find her bookshelf overflowing with works from Blessed Mother Teresa, St. Augustine, Scott Hahn, and St. Teresa of Avila.  

Sunshine, roller coasters, and hand-written letters in the mail make her happy on any given day. She also enjoy leading ‘Mustangs for Life’ (SMU’s pro-life group), and serving with SMU Catholic as Service Chair and on the Awakening retreat team.  She’d like everyone to experience the joy of knowing the Risen Christ!


  1. excellent perspective!

    By Jennifer | 7 years ago Reply
  2. Thank you for this – today I took my 15 yr. old for a physical and the Dr. gave her a prescription for birth control pills for cramps w/o my permission, even after I told the Dr. I was opposed to it! The Dr. said children as young as 12 can get birth control w/o parent permission and abortions!!! God help us!

    By Alexandra | 7 years ago Reply

    By Milka | 7 years ago Reply
  4. Hi,

    I also think you are right. Still I am on birth-control. Because since the age of 10 I have had such tremendous menstrual cramps that I had to stay in bed for 3 days, unable to do anything. First I tried different kinds of painkillers,and even natural remedies, but it did not work. They had to increase the painkillers every few months, until we were out of options because they were to strong and also damaging to my health. Then the only option the doctors saw was to give me birth control. Ultrasounds etc. showed that I have to high levels of hormones and that my uterus has no space left inside ( completely clogged up ) before I go into my monthly period. Birth control stabelised that so that I now can function as a normal person during those times of the month, even though I am still on heavy painkillers. If there was another way to stabilize my hormones I would, but I haven’t been able to find anything….. If you have ideas or something I would gladly hear of them.

    By Martine Gorisse | 7 years ago Reply
    • Hi Martine,
      If you were my friend, I would encourage you to find a good naturopath in your area. Start asking around… friends, natural health store, etc and see what you can find out. Many times, naturopaths can help with situations like yours! Blessings, Jeanne Marie

      By Jeanne Marie | 7 years ago Reply
    • Martine,

      Thank you for sharing this- do you know what is causing your condition? I understand how painful that can be, and I’m happy to share that there have been breakthroughs recently in pinpointing the cause of problems like the ones you are having through NaPro Technology. Usually birth control will regulate and appear to treat the symptoms, but does not get to the root of the problem, potentially covering up a serious medical problem that needs to be addressed.

      I recommend reading the info here (There is a whole section on hormonal abnormalities & PMS) and checking to see if you can find a doctor who is practiced in NaPro Technology in your area! http://www.naprotechnology.com/

      God bless you!

      By Julie Martin | 7 years ago Reply
      • Martine,
        I hope you are well! I am with Julie in trying to take advantage of napro technology. I have been charting using the Creighton model for a couple of years and, though I am not married, it has been incredibly helpful in helping me find out what is wrong with my hormones! My doctor, who is trained in napro, was able to diagnose me with PCOS and low progesterone and give me the help I need to regulate my hormones naturally while preserving my fertility so if I ever get married, I can hopefully have children. In my area, napro is becoming HUGE! I have known several women with conditions similar to yours (severe, debilitating menstrual pain) who have charted and our napro doctor has been able to get them the help they need without using birth control. I am not a medical professional, but I do know that my friends/family/peers that struggle with menstrual pain as extreme as yours have been diagnosed with something called endometriosis. If you can find someone trained in napro technology, please do try to attend a training session! It is truly amazing how much it has helped myself and other women in my area.
        God bless!

        By avemaria | 7 years ago Reply
  5. You got it sister :). This article completely hits the nail on the head! Love it!

    By Diana | 7 years ago Reply
    • Martine, there is an alternative to the pill. NaPro Technology has helped thousands of women who were put on the pill for female problems. Many times doctors will prescribe the Pill without finding out the cause of the problem (lack of progesterone, PCOS, etc.). Check it out: http://www.fertilitycare.org

      By Kristy | 7 years ago Reply
  6. Julie! You were on my faith in the fire retreat! Great job! Hope you can do adore one night.

    By Danielle George | 7 years ago Reply
  7. I think this is very dumb just my opinion… Like I feel you can have sex with anyone as long as you both love eachother and are commited.. So birth control is better than having a child that will be unloved and will have a bad life because it isn’t wanted in my opinion

    By Me | 7 years ago Reply
  8. Thank you for all your info.
    The only problem is that I don’t live in the US…. I live in Holland… :/

    By Martine Gorisse | 7 years ago Reply
    • Hi Martine. Here is the link for NaPro in Holland. http://www.fertilitycare.nl/

      Here is the English language page with all the links for Europe: http://www.fertilitycare.net/

      I hope you find the care you need. The pill just masks the problem, does not heal. You may still have to deal with the underlying issue when and if you want to get pregnant. And often the pill has caused it own problems by that stage especially with you being on it so young and for so long.

      By Anna | 7 years ago Reply
  9. Hello,

    Thank you for your very interesting article. I agree with most of your arguments regarding the health problems, commitment and that people consider it as the solution for everything (abortion, teenage pregnancy).

    However, I disagree with your argument regarding infidelity.
    “Simply put, birth control makes it easy to seek the pleasure of sex outside of the union of marriage which fosters long-term commitment necessary for raising children.”
    For sure, this could be a reason why people get into love affairs out of marriage, but for sure stopping using birth control won’t make people more faithful. It would be more the fear of having a child out of marriage that would prevent people from having affairs, which wouldn’t be a better reason (and yet I am pretty sure that there would be still some persons without qualms that would do it.)

    The solution is, as you say, more than birth control. It is our will of commitment, our will to love and respect the other person, the fact that we should be aware that life won’t be easy together everyday. And in my opinion, we can still be aware of that will of commitment, that will of love, while having birth control at the same time.

    That’s why I think the topic about “birth control is good or not” is not a relevant question, we should focus about making people aware of the will of loving someone 🙂


    By Marine | 7 years ago Reply

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