Overcoming Porn Addiction
He was one of the last men in the room; his shoulders slouched and his face dejected. We had just ended a men’s group where we discussed some of the struggles and dangers of pornography and other sexual sins. I could tell he was waiting to talk, as I would occasionally catch him looking over at me, only to look away once our eyes met. When I finally made my way over to him he didn’t even wait for my arrival before he started speaking.
He was addicted to pornography. He knew it was wrong. He wanted to stop. But he couldn’t.
Sometimes when looking at our own weakness and temptations the struggle seems too big to overcome. Yet, if we create a few new daily tasks for ourselves, the path to freedom becomes a little bit less daunting.
It starts with making a choice.
Those who have struggled with addiction will tell you that you don’t just wake up one morning and all your problems are gone. You have to desire change. You have to desire freedom from addiction more than the empty promises the addiction assures. It may sound like an over-simplification, but it’s not. Make the conscious choice to be pure.
Be Proactive
Just as an alcoholic needs to stay away from the local bar, those who struggle with sexual impurity need to stay clear from the things that may tempt them. Maybe this means staying clear from certain television shows. Maybe it means moving your laptop from your room to your kitchen. Or maybe turning off your phone at 9pm and not turning it back on until the next day. It means being proactive and changing things in your everyday environment.
Accountability
Don’t go at this fight alone. It can be awkward talking about this type of thing with our friends, especially the first time. However, we are stronger together and sometimes we need someone there to encourage us, push us forward, and even help us back up when fall flat on our face. Proverbs 27:17 states, “iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another” (RSV). Try to find one or two close friends who can help you carry this burden.
Prayer
Lastly, pray. Pray. Pray. And pray some more. Read the Scriptures. Take 15 minutes and pray a rosary. Google search a prayer for purity and tape it to your bedroom wall (here is one of my favorites). Even if it is something as simply praying for the grace to be pure tomorrow as you fall a sleep at night. Pray.
The young man left our meeting that night standing a little taller. He even smiled as he waved good-bye. He still had a battle ahead of him, but by laying out a game plan he had found new hope.
If you find yourself struggling with pornography, set up a game plan. Ask yourself what steps you can take to fight your addiction. There is hope. There is freedom. Know that you have my prayers.
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Kris Frank attended Franciscan University and graduated in 2008 with a degree in catechetics and theology with a youth ministry concentration. He has been a part of youth programs in Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Florida, and currently serves as a high school youth minister just outside of Houston, Texas. Kris also has been privileged to travel around the country, sharing the Gospel with teens and young adults at various retreats, camps, and conferences. Kris spends his free time with his beautiful wife and two girls. He is grateful every day for the gift of God’s grace and the joy of serving the Church.