Flirting 101: The Do’s and Don’ts for Girls

So you’ve met a guy. What do you do next? Act interested? But you don’t want to come on too strong. Ignore him? But then he won’t know you’re alive. Knock him to the ground? No, that only works in first grade. Though I’ve landed quite a catch now (shout out to my wonderful husband, Brian!), I remember it all too well . . . trying to get the attention of a guy you’re interested in without making a fool of yourself.

I’m so thankful I didn’t have to deal with facebooking, snap-chatting, instagramming, and tweeting when I was in high school. Nowadays girls spend so much time updating their status, checking to see who liked a comment or picture, and thinking they’re getting to know the perfect guy, who happens to look like Ryan Gosling. (It’s always such a letdown to learn that the Internet’s prince charming actually looks more like that boy from Diary of a Wimpy Kid.) Flirting doesn’t have to be painful, it can actually be fun! I’m not talking about playing games with guys – trying to make every guy you meet think that you like them; that’s rude.

So what’s a girl supposed to do when she meets a guy she’s interested in? Here are a few things I’ve learned . . .

1. Don’t try too hard.

Just be yourself. If the guy doesn’t seem interested in what you have to say, it’s his loss.

2. Don’t wait around for (or stalk) the guy you’d like to spend time with.

Keep busy with the things and people that bring you happiness. God wants us to be happy. Seek out the people, conversations, and activities that bring you joy.

3. Don’t be afraid to move on.

There are plenty of people out there to get to know, and more than enough time to find the interesting ones to spend time with.

4. Don’t open up too fast.

Luckily The Bachelorette is not your guide for how quickly you have to share your life story before the next contestant enters the room. You’re a treasure to be sought after, so let the guy do the work in getting to know you.

5. Do dress in a way that flatters your body.

That doesn’t mean reveal your whole body. If the lack of your clothing is what attracts a guy, don’t be surprised when he doesn’t seem interested in the real you. Being stared at all day by every guy that walks by is not what is going to make you happy. Summertime is a great time to wear bright, fun colors that catch a guy’s eye. Not to run around in public wearing shorts that look like underwear.

6. Do Smile.

Be the happy version of yourself. You don’t need to act like you’ve just won a million dollars if you’re having the worst day of your life, but you also don’t need to act like you’re sharing your deepest thoughts with your therapist.

7. Do make eye contact.

Let a guy know you’re interested and really listen to him. And not just the stories he’s telling, listen to the words he’s using to communicate. Does he need to use bad language to sound cool or get a laugh? Does he need to talk negatively about others to make himself feel better? Don’t waste your time on a guy who isn’t going to add something positive to your life.

8. Do relax.

Remember God has a plan for your life, a plan to bring you great joy and happiness (Jeremiah 29:11-15). Don’t stress thinking you’re going to mess up God’s plan if you say the wrong words, get caught on a day you haven’t done your hair, or laugh at all the wrong times. God wants your happiness even more than you do; you can trust that He’ll provide for everything you need.

(This blog was originally published on and was used with permission.)

By Courtney Kissinger


  1. I can’t thank you enough for having this kind of blog. Prayers do get answered through different channels and I’m just glad that God used this article to tell me what I have to do.

    I’ve been wanting to be happy and I thought that a man’s attention would fill the void inside me. Now, more than ever, I believe that only God can do that and that’s only thing that He wants for me so I’ll learn to wait patiently as His wonderful plan for me unfolds.

    This really came in right on time, thank you!

    By Tessa | 8 years ago Reply
  2. it came right on time for me too! thank you very much for everything

    By lulu | 8 years ago Reply
  3. Thanks alot guys. The post has really been helpful.

    By Jacinta | 8 years ago Reply
  4. i wish that i could stress number 5 to every girl who wants to impress guys/find a boyfriend, dressing trashy is NOT the way to find a lifelong relationship (or even just a good relationship with guys in general), here’s an example: the night i met my boyfriend, it was at a party, i wore jeans and a sweatshirt, out of all the girls at the party, he decided to talk to me, i don’t know if that means anything and take what you will from it.

    By Colleen | 8 years ago Reply
  5. Thank you! Some of these were really was God sent.

    By Andrea | 8 years ago Reply
  6. is there one of these for me?

    By Brayam | 8 years ago Reply
  7. Some really good advice, it was much needed. Thanks!

    By Jacinta | 8 years ago Reply
  8. Love this so much!! So much integrity in these do’s and don’ts. God bless!

    By Alison Y. | 8 years ago Reply
  9. Hi! thanks for your lovely blog it’s great me and my friends come to this site a lot 🙂 I was just wondering, when you said its rude to make each fella think you like him, what is the difference between being polite and friendly with them and making them think this.
    I’m a naturally friendly person but i think i may give off the wrong impression to some fellas would you be able to give me some advice?
    God Bless 🙂

    By Ellen | 8 years ago Reply
  10. Thank you both soo much I enjoyed your speech today in Tulsa. Inspirational

    By Fernanda | 8 years ago Reply
  11. #2 & #7 is really difficult for me to do since, I am really shy to let him know I am interested, even just to look at straight into his eyes.

    By Jen | 8 years ago Reply
  12. Ellen, that’s a hard one because you can’t control what others interpret from your behavior. I think the most important thing is not doing it on purpose. Besides that, being prudent regarding physical contact,how much time you spend with the guy, what you talk about, etc. might be the best preventive measure.

    By Laura M | 8 years ago Reply
  13. I love this site. It has so much to offer for the youth of today, in an uncertain, selfish, fast-paced, and remorseless world. I have one query: The Dos and Don’ts of flirting for girls are well explained.

    But why does the Flirting for Boys have only Dos and not Don’ts.

    By Kevin Sequeira | 8 years ago Reply
  14. This is really helpful. Thank you and God bless!

    By Wana | 8 years ago Reply
  15. Thank you so much, this is very helpful honestly. I think that every righteous advice is a great thing for me. I am only 15, I have only recently become a Christian and I do believe in God, I love him and praise him with my whole heart. I have past experience with being fooled by a guy, (when I was a non-christian, so I don’t have trust therefore I do not flirt with guys often. I do not flirt with many guys at once, I always believed it’s wrong) but now I have met a guy in church he is slightly order than me and I met him around 6-8 months ago. At first I tried to ignore him because I realised that he is a player and I did not want any unwatered fuss. However over time I started to get interested in him again, more and I have this battle in me, I do desire his love (not in a sexual way), but I say no to myself, I don’t want to push him away because I know that he actually likes me too. But it’s very confusing and I have this mash up in my head. I’m suffering from it in a way.

    By Alina | 8 years ago Reply
  16. Thank you so very much!!God bless!!

    By Melissa | 8 years ago Reply
  17. So I recently broke up with my boyfriend (He lies and is a jerk, he never changes) so I am kinda on the hunt for TRUE dudes. There is this one dude at the dance academy that I am apart of and I think he is pretty cute! I am just too scared to actually go up to him because he is popular, and he his nice, but he had popular jerk friends who always give me the evil eye. I do make eye contact while talking to him if he comes up to me, but I make a face and shake. My face I make kinda looks like ?. What do I do to relax a little bit more?

    By Taylor | 8 years ago Reply

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