My brother is a homosexual; what kind of relationship should we have?

Full Question

I know that homosexuality is wrong, and I fully support that teaching. I'm really having a hard time knowing what kind of relationship I should have with him. I feel like any relationship with him is wrong, and by accepting him I would be condoning his actions which I feel I can't do. What is said in Romans 1:21-32, makes me feel I can have no relation with him. I need help to understand specifically Romanss 1:32.


Romans 1 is aimed at pagans. Your brother is a believer who has become confused by his involuntary attractions and a culture that supports them. He is a fellow Christian who has been given a very heavy cross to bear. The general culture sympathizes with him in the wrong way—to say nothing of the so-called “gay” culture. Despite all the support and hoopla about having the right to live in a way that actually contradicts natural law (the law by which we instinctively know that things like murder and incest are wrong), there lurks under the surface of most people with same-sex attraction a self loathing. Theirs is a loneliness that suffers from both sides. If they partake, the Church notes the sin. If they refrain, the culture is threatened and persecutes them. Remember, it is just as difficult for them to be attracted to the opposite sex as it is for you to be attracted to the same sex. Many of them feel quite trapped.

The only way to overcome the horns of such a dilemma, is by turning to the cross and the Lord’s passion. It is there that we all learn who He is and who we are. What we learn there can give us the strength to live for Him alone. It IS possible. He has that kind of power. Of course, this would not occur to most people in whatever difficulty they may face. I don’t doubt that your brother has strong misgivings about his own worth—regardless of how defensive he may act. Our Lord was criticized for associating with sinners and prostitutes. We could easily add homosexuals. But He has loved them enough to suffer and die for them. As his brother, you could be the one person who could bring Christ’s love to him—by simply being yourself and telling the truth about what you believe. Let him know your love by your kindness in the face of such disorder.