How do I deal with legalism when I encounter it? Does God draw a distinction between somebody who marries carelessly and then goes through a Church annulment and somebody who gets a civil divorce then remarries?

Church annulment is the process by which it is determined that a valid marriage has not taken place, leaving the persons free to marry. Unless such proof can be obtained, a marriage is ordinarily presumed to be valid. One cannot be married to two people. A civil divorce has no power to dissolve a valid marriage. This is not an example of legalism. It is reasonable if one understands it.